(0800) - Nessie
by fallenspringsummer
Summary: I am not a whore or a slut, I just talk like one. Don't judge me, you don't know my story. My name is Renesmee and I work as a call girl to make my dreams of becoming a vet a possibility. My life was simple until I got a caller who can't seem to let me go. His name is Jacob Black.
1. Chapter 1

**_Renesmee's POV._**

It was almost 3, I was almost done. The life of a call girl was horrible, but it paid and that was the most important thing right now. I wanted to become a vet and well that was kind of expensive, that's why I needed this job.. The things that I heard here were more than disgusting and sometimes even disturbing but I was able to let that go when I came home. To be honest; this kind of job was the reason that I wasn't ready for a relationship right now. But that was okay, I just needed to save up for my study. I would be able to help animals, save lives and that was most important right now.

The phone rang again, it was my last call for tonight. I hoped the it was an easy one.. I was tired.  
>I pushed the button that connected my headset.<p>

_"Good evening handsome how can I help you_" I whispered in the microphone.

It stayed silent at the other side of the line and I rolled my eyes.

_"You don't have to be shy darling, I promise I won't bite. Unless you want me to, I'll do everything what you want me to do. So tell me what do you want?"_

**"What's your name?**" I heard a husky voice from the other side of the line ask. I smiled because I finally got some reaction.

"They call me Ruby" I answered. All the girls were named after stones and jewelry here. Diamond, Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl. I little obscene in my opinion but hey that's just me. I wasn't the boss of this place.

_" Let's start with closing your eyes, I want you to picture me in that room_"

**"That's a good idea.."** I heard his husky voice from the other side. He spoke with a double tongue and I just knew he was drunk. I hoped it wouldn't take too long.

_"I crawl on your lap and slowly start to unbutton my shirt my nipples are erect and are begging for you touch, I.."_

**"STOP**" I heard him sight from the other line. Stop? Oh god was it a creep again, you know the one who likes sadism and stuff. I frowned what did he want?

_"I am sorry sir, did I do something wrong?_" I asked sweetly, maybe he liked me submissive better.

_"You did nothing wrong, just tell me about yourself"_ He whispered. I shivered because of his voice. These kind of things never happened, did he know this line was 75 cents per minute ? Nobody ever wanted to hear about me. They just wanted to shoot their load and disconnect.

_"Well my name is Ruby and I have long brown curls, brown eyes. My breasts are…"_

**"I don't want to hear about your body I want to hear about your hobbies, about your dreams and mostly about the things you like to do"**

_"My hobbies?_" I asked surprised. I frowned as I slowly started to tell about me, the real me. Of course I never gave him real information about my name of town. But it was nice talking to him, he listened to me like no one ever had.

**"What's your favorite animal?"** He smiled after I told him I liked to read and dance.

_"I like all kind of animals that's the reason I want to become a vet"_ I blurted out. My eyes widened when I realized that I just told this complete stranger my biggest dream. There was something about him, something that made me feel comfortable.

**"A vet, that's really cool. I bet you will save a lot of lives**" his voice was kind and it seemed like he was smiling. A small smile played my lips as well.

_"And what about you? What do you want?_" I asked curious, my eyes wandered to the timer and I saw that we were talking for more than 45 minutes, poor guy that would be a hell of a bill.

**"I just want my own place, a nice peaceful place, with a girl I love until the end of time. I own a garage right now. I don't care about money really, I just like to fix things**."

"_That sounds really nice_" I whispered while I thought at my little room which I paid way too much money for.

_"Someday both our dreams will come true_" I exclaimed. I could hear him grin at the other side of the phone.

**"I'm sure of it, so Ruby I was wondering if you would like to grab a drink sometimes?**" I sighted and suddenly felt tired again. All my enthusiasm disappeared and I went over to auto pilot.

_"'I'm sorry sir we don't meet up with our customers, of course I can give you the number of some of our other girls, I bet they will love to meet up with you._"

My fingers were floating over the buttons. I was somehow a little disappointed but of course I couldn't show that.

"**NO, no please do not disconnect Ruby**" I heard him plead on the other side of the phone.

_"I want to thank you for your call sir, I hope I have pleased you this evening and I wish you a nice evening_" I mumbled and pressed the stop button. The person on the other side of the line was gone, I would never know who he was . I would never hear his voice again and somehow I felt sad about it.

It was policy that the numbers from our customers were hidden, so we couldn't write them down and take them home. So I would never meet this stranger again. But somehow I wished I never pushed that button.

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><p>I want to hear want you think! Review me guys.<p> 


	2. Payphone

Renesmee's POV

_one week later_

Another day. I walked to the kitchen and made myself some coffee. When I opened the cupboard to get the sugar I realized that there wasn't any left. I sighted and decided to drink it black. I needed coffee, without it I couldn't function, it was my morning ritual. I needed a cup of coffee when I woke up, or before lunch, after lunch and before I went to sleep. Yes you could call me an addict but I didn't care. With my unregularly hours I was always tired. Maybe it would be better if I ate more healthy but eating healthy is expensive and I wanted to save everything for my study.

Studying meant the world for me and if that meant I needed to make some sacrifices than that's what I needed to do.

My day wasn't anything special. I cleaned my room, or at least the little hole I was living in.  
>I had a bed, a fridge 2 cupboards and a shared bathroom. I always had cold water, but I was too tired to argue with my landlord. I could never win of that man, he was one of the most horrible persons I ever met. But on the other hand I had a place to sleep, a place where I didn't need to show any papers. Because that's what lacked.. I didn't have any papers. No passport, no birth certificate nothing. I know that sounds a little strange, but the weirdest thing is that I was only 5.<p>

I fled when I was little, I was adopted as a baby. The woman who adopted me couldn't cope with the fact that I seemed to grow so much in so little time. She went completely mad and started to believe I was a devil's child. It all started with the priests, the holy water that I needed to drink, and it all ended with the exorcism. Í knew that there was nothing wrong with me, I had no demon living inside of me. I was perfectly fine. But on the day they were doing the exorcism on me Marget, the woman who I called mother, drugged me. I don't know what she did in my lemonade but I started to see things, horrible dark things. Priest changed into demons and I was so scared I tried to fight them off. That's when they thought I had a demon inside of me.

When I woke up the next morning I was dehydrated, bloody and bruised everywhere. That's when I decided that this wasn't the place for me. I didn't want to be a burden, so I grabbed a dress changed and made myself disappear through the window. Those people never saw me again. I was 2 by the time, but of course I looked older. I wandered through the village not knowing what to do. I took the bus to the other side of town but I fell asleep and woke up in Port Angeles. By the time I arrived there it was raining and in minutes I was completely soaked. I didn't knew what to do or where to go. I didn't had any family or friends who could help me. However all my feelings told me not to, I wandered to the church. The nun there offered me a warm meal and a place to sleep. I gladly accepted, knowing I couldn't stay. They would probably hear the news about me soon enough, so the next day I wandered off again. I was cold and tired and I wanted just a place to sleep. I slipped into a cold dark alley and sat down, crying. I needed a miracle and somehow my prayers were heard. A big dog walked towards me slowly. He sat down and licked my face. It was the first time in days that I smiled. I started to pet him on his big head. He stood up and without knowing why I followed him. He lead me to an old house. We crawled inside and that night I slept hugging him, keeping me warm. I lived a whole year in that old abandoned house with the dog I named 'Waffles', He was the only family that I've ever knew and I loved him. We managed, I stole food for both of us and he kept me company. That was until he got sick. It started with the eating, after that the fever. I tried the best I could the help him. After three days I woke up with him in my arms, but I was the only one who woke up.

_Waffles please wake up, don't leave me alone here. Waffles please wake up, you can't leave me alone. You are my only family. I cried as I shook his lifeless body. He needed to wake up, he needed to wake up. But the dog underneath my hands was already cold. His heart stopped beating. Tears dripped on his fur as I laid down next to him for the next last time.. _

Time passed quickly, I grew taller and managed to get a few jobs there and then. That's how I rolled in this job. It paid reasonable and now I have a roof above my head.

I took an afternoon nap before I got dressed and walked to work. Would the guy named Jacob call again? He called every evening until now. He always asked for me, and if I wasn't there he would hang up. In a weird way it was kinda sweet, somehow I guess. I made him very clear that I never wanted to meet him. I was not a whore and I wanted to find a nice guy who would treat me right, not a kind of pervert that I met with phonesex.

The day started normal:

"A very good evening sir, Sam's Devils Ruby speaking, how can I please you sir?"

With my smooth talk and fantasy it never took them very long to finish.

This one worked very good also: "I want you to come on my face sir, please treat me like the little slut I am" 90% of the guys I talked to where done when I said that.

It was a long night and full on creeps. One of them asked me to talk about hooks and how they would pierce to my flesh and how he would fuck me hanging there. The other one had a fetish for ass to mouth. I sighted as I did my nails, I was young and still a virgin, but I wondered what was so special about sex. The people I talked to seemed to care so much about it. How could you have sex with someone that you didn't love? I probably wouldn't understand anyway.

He was my last call, but somehow I knew he would call. It was late and he was my last . But he did call again.

"_A very good evening sir, Sam's Devils Ruby speaking, how can I please you sir_?" I said with a faked enthusiasm.

"**Was it a long night? "**

"_A very long night" _ I sighted.

"**How was your day?" **He laughed.

"_nothing special really, tell me about yours! How did it end with that customer who didn't pay his repairs and tried to break in your garage to steal his bike back"_

"_**Haha do you really want to know? I heard him break the glass so I walked over there and grabbed him by his neck. Long story short he gave me a nice tip" **_

I giggled "_ Haha that poor guy, I bet you scared him shitlesss"_

I heard him laugh at the other side. **"I'm sure of it"**

"_**So what are you going to do tomorrow?" **_He asked.

"_Work I guess, I don't know" I sighted while I started to draw a bunny on the papersheet next to me. _

"_**Aren't you going to your family?" **_

"_No"_

"_**But tomorrow is thanksgiving"**_

An awkward silence fell onto our conversation. Thanksgiving, I never realized. I had no family to go to anyway but that meant I was free tomorrow.

"**Ruby are you okay?" **

"_Yeah I'm fine" _

"_I just forgot that's all. Anyway what are you going to do?"_

"**I'm going to eat with some family and friend I guess, so I won't hear you tomorrow he?"**

"_Nope, and the two days after that I'm free so this is our last talk for a while" _I said.

"**You can always call me if you like to tell someone how your day was" **he grinned.

"_That's really sweet" I said "But.."_

"_**I'll just give my number to you, and it's your choice if you do something with it" **_

He gave me his number and I wrote it down. I tore the piece of paper from the sheet and put it in my pocket. It would find my garbage can when I was home but that's didn't matter. It was a nice gesture.

"I need to close up, so I need to hang up" I whispered, somehow sad that I had to disappoint the one nice person in my life.

"**I understand, sweet dreams sweetheart" **He whispered back.

I never replied , but ended the call. It felt weird to call him a 'darling' or 'sweetheart' because when I took those words in my mouth I never mean anything with them. But this guy was somehow different and I didn't to make it weird.

I was the last one, everyone was already home. So I closed up and walked to the boss's office.

"Sam I'm going home" I said while I waved.

He glanced up with watery eyes. "No you're not, come in Renesmee" He said. I shivered because this guy scared me, but it was the only job I had and sacrifices have to be made. Working for this man was one. So I walked in and put down my purse. He looked at me and folded his hands, when he spoke a smell of cigars and wiskey filled the air.

"So how do you like being everyone's little slut?" He grinned when he took another sip of his drink. I almost choked in my own saliva as he asked that. I sighted and stared at the floor, not knowing what to answer.

He stood up walking towards me.

"Does it make you horny? Being so submissive on the phone?"

His hand found my hair and he petted my head.

"No sir" I spitted out, pulling away.

He didn't back off, not at all. He let his hand slide down towards my cheeks and even lower to my neck.

"You are a fierce one aren't you" he grinned. I chewed on my lip irritated. Sometimes I just hated my life. What happened then surprised me so much that I was speechless. He pulled my hair and spit in my face. With big eyes I stared at him. What the fuck? That was just rude not to mention gross. In shock I tried to wipe it away with my hand but he slapped it away.

Without saying anything he yanked my hair causing me to fall forward. I landed on my knees and before I knew he yanked my hairs again, he turned my face up so that I needed to look at him.

"Suck me"

"What? no!" I bitched while I tried to get my hair free.

"Are you starting to go solo you dirty backstabbing whore?" he said as he grabbed my throat, I shook my head as I tried to fight him off.

"Don't lie to me! I heard your caller give you his phone number! Are you going to visit him, are you going to suck his dick for money you little whore? "

"n..ooo " I gargled while I tried to control my breathing. I started to see black stars before my eyes.

"You never want to spread your legs for me, or my customers. Isn't that a real shame" he whispered.

He shook his head "I said suck me"

I shook my head and he released me. "Fine then, you want to play like this?" he grinned and the next second his fist hit my face. I fell on the floor as an exploding pain shot through my head.

"You can't do this" I mumbled into the carpet.

"I can't?" He laughed. "you need me, I know you Ruby. You don't have any papers at all. You can't do anything at all" He laughed again. I felt how warm blood dripped onto my hand. I needed to get out of here.

He turned around to light another cigar, I stumbled up and ran. I heard his surprised reaction and soon his footsteps behind me. I stumbled to the stairs but he was really close. His hands almost reached my hair. I didn't wanted to lose my virginity to him. I needed to protect myself, make some sacrifices. That's when I decided that instead of going straight ahead I took a left turn. I won a few seconds, enough to open up the window and slide through it.

The fall wasn't as hard as I expect it would be. I was lucky it was first floor. If it had been second I would probably broke both my legs. Without looking up I stood up and ran, fortunately the adrenaline kept me moving long enough until I was save from him. I started to walk to my apartment slowly, looking over my shoulder every minute.

He wasn't there, I was all alone. I sighted and that's when the pain kicked in. My head almost exploded and my body was sore and bruised. I emptied my stomach in the bushes. Crap I was going to lose my job, what was I going to do without a job? Well at least I had three days to find another one. I needed a good night sleep now, to make the pain go away. My eyes widened when I realized that my keys and my purse were still in the office.

"Oh my god" I mumbled while I tears welled up from my eyes. I couldn't go home, I couldn't get into my apartment without keys. I didn't have money for a hotel , food or aspirin. I sat down on a bench and started crying. I felt like I was 2 again, I had nobody were I could go to. I just wanted to go home.

I searched my pockets for a tissue but I couldn't find one. A few coins fell out by my trying. I stared at them as they laid there on the ground.

I only had one option left. I picked up the coins and walked to the payphone at the end of the street. My hands were shaking so much that I almost dropped the coins again. I pressed the buttons slowly as I tried to make my breathing seem normal. It ringed, my god it ringed. I bit my lip, nervous as I was my heartbeat sounded so loud I could barely hear the phone.

It was still ringing, it was taking way too long… he wasn't picking up. It was too late, he was probably sleeping. I watched the meter.. it said I had 135 seconds left.

He wasn't going to pick up, ofcourse he wasn't going to. Which idiot would?

"Hello…?"


	3. Demons

**On request I decided to finish the story. One chapter a week ;) would love some support!**

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><p><strong>"Hello..?"<strong> his voice growled on the other side of the line. My heart jumped when I heard his voice, he picked up. I was so relieved that the word didn't came out. I tripped over my own tongue.

**"Hello…?"** he said again, his voice annoyed this time.

**"Jacob…. I-I'm sorr**" before I could finish my sentence I started crying.

**"RUBY?"**

**"WHAT IS WRONG?"** he shouted from the other side of the line.

'**He hit me**' I said while I bawled my eyes out. For a few second there was no reaction, the only sound that I heard was his dog growling. There were only 20 second left..

**"Jacob can you please help me?"** I begged

**"Ofcourse where are you?"**

**"P-p-port Angeles, Hamilton way close to the elementary school"** I sobbed

**" Okay liste…**.beep-beep-beeep"

I closed my eyes as I listened to the beeping sound. The line was dead. Goddammit what was I going to do? I had no idea what he was going to do now, my god I didn't even knew where he lived.. What if he lived somewhere on the other side of the world. I sat down on the ground and placed my hands on my temples. My headache was killing me, the world around me was spinning and it wasn't possible to get up. After a few minutes I gave up, I closed my eyes and buried my face in my arms. Everything, every inch of my body hurt. I could do this, I couldn't do this alone… my live was pure hell. The only blessing I had to my name was that I was healthy that's all. But that seemed to abandon me too because within seconds I passed out.

"_Momma I'm homeeeeee" I yelled at the empty kitchen. _

"_Over here Renesmee" her voice called me from the other room. I snatched an apple from the bowl while I was walking there. I took a big bite because I was famished. When I walked into the room I saw two strange man sitting on the table. Both were dressed in black with a white collar around their neck. In the middle of the room was a circle of salt. Intrigued I stared at it. What were they doing here? Curious I looked to my mother, who started weepin. _

'_Is this the child?' one of them asked. My mother nodded. _

'_She isn't human. She's supposed to be one right now' she sobbed while she pointed at me. _

'_Momma who are these people' I asked scared while I took a step backwards. I dropped the apple as I watched them approach me. _

''_We'll get that devil out of her ma'am'' one grinned while he looked at me. He grabbed me by my arms and dragged me to the circle with salt. I screamed and clawed it him. It was of no use, he was way too strong. They tied me to a chair and sprinkled me with water. _

'_Mommy please help me' I begged, but she just stood there and stared. There was no one that was going to help me. _

_The left one started chanting; Exorcizamus te, Omnis Immundus Spiritus, Omnis Satanica Potestas, Omnis Incursio Infernalis Adversarii, Omnis Congregatio et Secta Diabolica, Ergo Draco Maledicte, Ut Ecclesiam Tuam Secura, Tibi Facias Libertate Servire, Te Rogamus, Audi Nos.."_

" Momma help…" I sat up. I was having a nightmare.. But my whole life was a nightmare and this nice soft warm bed wasn't part of it. I looked around but I didn't recognized the room. I pulled the covers over my head and sighted deep. Where the hell was I? Next to the bed laid a pile of clean clothes. Slowly I stepped out of bed and changed into them. They were way too big for me, but at least they were dirt and blood free. I walked to the sink and splashed some water in my face, also I used the toothbrush that was standing there. I'm sorry but I thought it was horrible to meet my hero with morning breath. When I looked at myself in the mirror a feeling of despair rushed over me. What was I doing with my life? I took a few deep breaths for encouragement and opened the door.

With baby steps I walked downstairs. My heart was now in my throat and it's beating was even harder than my footsteps.

"H-hello?" I said half whispering. There was no reaction, the house was quiet.

The sudden realization that this guy could be even more dangerous than Sam flashed through my mind. What have I done? I was even more stupid than I would admit. I needed to get out of here quick. I turned around looking for my shoes. I turned I little too fast and my sore body protested. My eyesight disappeared and gravity pulled as I lost balance. Desperate I tried to reach for something to hold on, but before I could find something a warm and strong hand wrapped around my arm. His other arm wrapped around my waist and he guided me right in his arms. While recovering the first thing that I noticed was his smell. He smelled like wood and outside.

"You're okay" He shht me while he petted my hair. The next thing my legs gave out on me. As this wasn't embarrassing enough.. Before I knew it I was in that big soft bed again. Slowly I opened my eyes. I was dying to see him.

Before me sat a beautiful native boy. With eyes as dark pools and skin as sand. His hair had the natural out of bed look. He smiled at me while he caressed my cheek.

"Hey you" He whispered. I tried to smile weakly. He wasn't scary at all. Actually he seemed quite sweet. He said something but my eyelids were too heavy and I fell in a light restless sleep.


	4. Thankyou

I felt like crap when I woke up. Headache and nausea included. The room was empty thank god, slowly I sat up and hugged my knees. I tried to orientate but my head was all woozy, so I decided very asocial to use the bathroom without asking. I took a quick shower, and thank god there was warm water here. At my place I only had cold water, but at least I had a roof above my head. After a few minutes I turned the shower off, I could've enjoyed it for hours but I had no idea where I was.  
>I stumbled downstairs again. When I stood in the hall I heard voices in the livingroom. For seconds I just stared at the door not knowing what to do. It was a nice door for sure I thought by myself.<p>

'' oh you are so pathetic" I sighted to myself. I just needed to open it, knock on it and open it.  
>Oh dear god here we go… O politely knocked and opened the door. It seemed my knocked stayed unheard because nobody even looked my way. In the room where a couple of half-naked dudes trying to bash each other heads in. My jaw dropped. They were all native and all just wearing short jeans. And while the bodies rolled through the floor I stared at them. These people where insane..<br>While I was still processing it all, suddenly an familiar face made his entry.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS" he raised his voice and within seconds the ball of human limps was broken up.

"There's a girl sleeping upstairs and you dickhe.." he never finished his sentence when his dark eyes found mine. I felt all eyes turn to me. With that my cheeks flushed and a nervous shiver made master of me. Seconds ago the room was filled with sounds of laughter, growling and shouting but now there was no sound at all. They were just staring at me with their big brown eyes.  
>Before I knew two firm arms led me out of the room and into the hallway.<p>

"I'm so sorry for that" he exclaimed while letting go of my arm. I stroke the place where his hands had been seconds ago, his grip had been firm and strong and I was betting I was going to get a bruise because of it.  
>"It's okay" I mumbled while I stared at my feet. What the hell was I supposed to do right now? I was so nervous I couldn't even look him straight in the eye.<br>"How are you feeling?" he asked while he inspected me. I faked a smile and nodded.  
>"I'm doing fine thank you" I lied as I pushed my shaking hands in my pockets. I hadn't thought this through, what did he want from me now? I never asked what he wanted for this big rescue.. I just hoped because I worked at a sexline it wasn't something like that.<p>

"Come I'll make you something to eat" He smiled as he carefully led me to the kitchen. As I sat down he poured me a cup of coffee and made me a ham sandwich. When he gave me the plate he sat in front of me and bend lightly forward so he was just inches away from me.  
>"So what happened" He asked while he folded his hands under his chin and locked his eyes with mine. I took a bite of my sandwich to postpone my answering. What was I going to tell him? If I told him the whole story there was a big chance he would call the cops. Without papers I was an illegal and would end up in jail.<br>"I got robbed" I said while I chewed my sandwich slowly. He nodded understandably and waited. IT seemed my explanation wasn't satisfying enough because he kept staring at me.  
>"I'm sorry I called you, but I panicked and you were the only phone number that I still had" I mumbled while I kept stirring in my tea.<br>"does it hurt?" he asked and for the first time I dared to look up. Not knowing what he meant I squirmed my eyes and stared at him "Does what hurt?"  
>He slowly touched my eye and I squealed when he touched my bruise.<br>"Let me get some ice for that" He smiled kindly. "Thank you, I don't know how I can ever thank you" I mumbled while he searched the freezer. He just grinned and handed me the ice-pack.

"Ruby!" he said for the second time before I realized he was talking to me. Confused I blinked and  
>pointed my attention his way 'Yeah sorry I'm a little off" I excused myself. He kneeled down and laid his hand on my knee.<br>"It there someone I can call for you? Family? Parents maybe?"  
>I shook my head "No thank you, but I promise I won't be in your way any longer, I'll get my stuff and leave as soon as possible. "<br>He grinned as he pinched my knee "Well that's not really possible is it?" There is no traffic because it's a holiday and the police-station is also closed. So there is no way to get in your apartment if I'm correct" He was right, I didn't have any money or keys.. I couldn't go nowhere. Startled I stared at him. "And besides" he said "I already counted on you with dinner" I gave a faint smile as he stared at me happily. We got interrupted by a smaller version of him.  
>"Jake we got a bit of a problem…." He whispered. Jacob's eyes went a little darker as he stood up. He winked as he walked out the kitchen with the other guy, for me this was time to take a deep breath. What was happening to me? This seemed to be too good to be true, there was something wrong here. I yawned and decided to pour myself another cup of coffee. It didn't mattered how much I slept I was still tired. I sat there for a while in silence drinking another four cups of coffee. When the caffeine started to work I stood up and did the dishes. In those few moments I had for myself I thought about the situation. It seemed I was forced to stay here. I dried my hands and walked back to my room, when I passed the livingroom I felt every pair of eyes turn towards me. I felt like rabbit surrounded by dogs, I hurried to the bedroom and closed the door. I let my head rest against it for a few second before I started to panic. 'You fool why are you so reckless' I mumbled against the door. I was a young girl surrounded by more than a dozen half naked guys. Who knew what there were planning? I tried to calm myself by looking at of the window. It didn't help, because the only thing I saw was that I was surrounded by a huge ass forest. Even if they wanted to, nobody would find me here. Stubborn as I was I wanted to orientate myself I climbed on the roof. The chill the shimmer of evening brought tickled my skin. Peacefully I sat there, I had no idea for how long.<br>He came after a while, like I expected he would. He climbed through the window with ease. He sat next to me in silence.

"The view is beautiful" I whispered fascinated by trees.

"I know" he whispered. I smiled and when I turned to look at him I noticed he wasn't staring at the view, but he was staring at me. When our eyes found each other he grinned and winked at me.  
>Not knowing what to do or say I kept silent.<p>

"Ruby, you don't have to be scared. I won't hurt you I promise. Please I loved our conversations on the phone, so please don't be a stranger now" He said.

Our eyes found each other again, I still didn't respond I just stared at him. I didn't knew if I could trust him or not. He invited me for dinner downstairs and left, minutes after I went back inside and found a black dress waiting for me. The price tag was still on it, and it seemed to be my size. Pure out of curiosity I tried it on. I was made for me or so it seems, I looked stunning. I brushed my teeth again splashed some water in my face and hairs and walked downstairs. When I walked into the living room I expected to see everyone, but there was no one at all. Quiet as a mouse I tiptoed to the kitchen. He was cooking humming cheerfully. He looked so careless and happy that it stole a little smile from me. I cleared my throat to let him know I was here. With the pan still in his hands he turned around, but when he saw me his smile froze and he dropped the pan on the wooden floor. Open mouthed he stared at me, until he realized what he had done. He looked from me to the floor and back.

"Wow" He whispered. I grinned and a little smile played his lips. I rushed over to help him, but I stepped in the butter and lost my balance. He tried to catch me but also lost his balance. I hit the floor hard, but an uncontrollably laughter started as soon as I did. I couldn't believe what was happening with my life, I laughed and laughed until Jacob grabbed my hand and lifted me up. When I looked him in the eye, I started to laugh again.

With his hands in his hair he stared at me, he seemed quite amused. "I guess it will be pizza then" he said. I nodded as the laughter died out. "I guess so" I said while I stared him the eye. He quickly cleaned the kitchen while I waited in the livingroom. I laid on the couch watching some tv when I walked in. Instead of asked me if I could shove up, he grabbed my feet lifted them in the air, sat down and placed them on his lap. Awkwardly I pulled them back, avoiding eye contact I looked through the room.  
>`Is this your own house?' I asked shyly my voice shaken. He nodded watching me carefully. I stood up and walked to the cupboard staring at the framed pictures, trying to buy myself some time. I looked at the pictures way too long, he stood up and startled I grabbed the first picture. He walked up behind me and took the picture out of my hands, with a sad smile he stared at it.<br>"Who is she?" I dared to ask, feeling for him

"Her name is Bella"

"I really miss her" he mumbled while putting the picture back in its place.

"What happened?" I dared to ask.

"She died in childbirth" his suddenly filled with anger. Instantly I knew I should stop asking questions. This was clearly upsetting him, and I liked to come home in one piece. He turned around a little shaken and with a low voice he asked me what kind of pizza I preferred. I told him I it didn't matter and he walked into the kitchen to call the service. I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch again. I don't know what it was with Jacob, he didn't scared me. But I had the feeling there was something dark inside of him. And that dark thing, that frightened me.

So I had my thanksgiving dinner out of a box, sitting on the couch. We made some small talk while watching friends on television;

"So Ruby, do you live in Port Angeles?" He asked while biting in his pizza. Cheesestrings formed a bridge between him and his pizza. I grinned and he quickly cleaned them off.

"Yes I do"

"Born and raised?"  
>I nodded again, holding on to my lies.<p>

"I'm sorry you don't get to spent thanksgiving with your family, but I don't mind you spending it with me" He whispered as he laid his hand on my knee. I swallowed my bite and raised my eyebrows.

"My family is dead" I said without even blinking. More lies, it never seemed to stop. "Carcrash""

"I'm so sorry" He said sincere, I bit my lip feeling a little bit unconformable '_What the hell are you doing Renesmee, get out of here and resume your life!' _I thought by myself.

"Do you want to watch a movie? I have Netflix" He said as he opened it, names of series and movies went by, I didn't even recognize one of them.

"How about this one?" He said pointing to the screen. I gave him a light smile 'Sure why not"  
>The film started and I sat back relaxing a little bit. It seemed like this was one of his favorite movies because he knew every line. It was actually kinda cute seeing him like this. He noticed I wasn't paying attention to the movie and he turned to me<p>

"Don't you like it?" He said with that playful look in his eyes. I felt some faint butterflies when he did that. I smiled at him.

"Thank you for everything Jacob" I whispered not losing our eye contact for a minute. For a moment, just aa brief moment, I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me. But he didn't, he just smiled at me and went back watching the movie. I tried to focus, but I already lost the storyline. I tried my very best to stay awake, I swear! But I couldn't help it.. my eyes slowly closed and before I knew it I was in a deep sleep.

When I woke up I was warm, comfortable but disorientated. The room was dark and I took me a few seconds to figure out what was happening. Jacobs arms were around me, I was laying on his lap. The movie was finished and the room was really dark. Jacobs breathing was regularly and deep, it was clear that he was asleep. I wondered how we could ever end up tangled like this? He was lying on his side, his arms wrapped around me, also half of his leg. My arms were also wrapped around him, we were entwined like we did this every weekend. I struggled to get my arms back, I shifted my weight and pulled softly. Jacob mumbled something, stroke my hairs and pulled me even closer.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you" He mumbled again. I looked up, it was clear that he was sleeping, but I was touched. I stared as his face a few seconds before I laid my head to rest, listening to his strong heartbeat I fell asleep in minutes.

Day 2

When I woke up he was gone. He left me a note that he went to work and that there was breakfast in the kitchen. I stood up took a shower and brushed my teeth before I made myself some coffee and a sandwich. I took the liberty to use Jacob's laptop to look for a job. Sitting there at the kitchentable I realized that my life couldn't get any worse, but on the other hand couldn't get better. Luck was on my side, I had shelter and food, and for now safety.

Jacob came home very late, exhausted he sat down on the couch while I poured him a cup of coffee. He smiled while I handed it to him.

"Do you mind if I take you home tomorrow?" He asked while he stirred in his coffee. He really looked exhausted so I shook my head and gave him a light smile. He sighted of relief and took a sip of his coffee.

"Bad day?" I asked noticing he was lightly upset.

"Very bad day, a friend of mine got into a… ehm huntingaccident'

"Is he okay?"

"We don't know" He but his lip agitated.

"Was it a animal?" I asked

He seemed deep in thought. "What..? An animal? No ofcours.." He shook his head.

"Yeaah it was a bear" He sighted.

"I'm really sorry" I said again. I stood up to retreat in my room. "If I can do something, please let me know"

When I turned around he grabbed my wrist. I turned around and stared in deep pools of helplessness. I stepped back and wrapped my arms around him. He held me tightly while pressing his face into my hairs. We stood there was a long time, he seemed to never let go. But when he did he seemed a little better somehow. Still he was really troubled. When a few hours later his friends rushed in to get him I could see him heart break a little. I waited for him, but he didn't come back until the sun was back up. He rushed to his bedroom ignoring me. After a few minutes I walked to him worried, I knocked and opened the door. He was standing there, shaking from anger with his fists buried in the wall.

"Jacob" I mumbled and rushed to his side. I laid my hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down.  
>"He's not going to make it" he whispered with a broken voice. Not knowing what to do I wrapped my arms around him. His big arms took me in.<p>

"Ruby.." He whispered and there went a shiver through my body, I wanted him to call me Renesmee so bad. I needed to tell him, this was so wrong.

"Jacob" I whispered, I looked up and his eyes found mine. I forgot what to say or do for a minute. I just stared at him while the butterflies found their way back again. He finally leaned in and pressed his lips on mine. It was my first kiss and nervous I tried to not let it show, so when he wanted more I gave in willingly. He was a good teacher. When we parted to get some air, I noticed that my cheeks were flushed and I was the one shaking now. He looked at me and I gave him a smile, withing seconds he pressed me to the wall and started to kiss me again and again. They kept gettingng better and better. His lips found my neck and my earlobe, then my lips again. I must been out of my mind, but didn't wanted it to stop, when he took too long I started to kiss him. I decided to give back what was given so I pressed my lips in his neck and he started to moan in my ear.

"Ruby stop" He breathed while he pushed me away. "Don't please, or I can't stop"  
>Embarrassed I left the room and ran to mine. I took a few deep breaths and went to bed.<p>

Day 3

We both knew it, I really needed to go home. I couldn't stay here. So not to embarrass Jacob I was the one to ask him.

"Do you want to take me home?"

He frowned but nodded. "Sure" His voice seemed a little bitter, but I needed to go on with my life. I needed to get a job, I wasn't a golddigger. I had my own clothes on again, washed ofcourse. When we walked to the car he said nothing. While driving he was silent too.

"Do you need to work tonight?" He asked, I shook my head. "So I can't call you?" He stated. I shook my head again.

"Ruby can I please take you to dinner tomorrow?" He said when we arrived at the spot. I turned around and smiled "7. Right. Here." I said while I gave him a kiss on his cheek. He seemed to lighten up and pulled my back giving me a long hot kiss. I smiled walking back to my apartment, when suddenly another car stopped right in front of me.

"Ruby!" a sugarcoated voice exclaimed.

"Crystal" I said surprised. Crystal was a collegue, a very nice girl but she had a little trouble with alcohol and coke.

"Dear we were so worried about you, I heard what happened!" She said while lighted a cigarette.

"What did you hear?" I asked surprised.

"That some creep forced himself in the building and that you escaped. I told you that that boy who kept calling was bad news" I clutched my jaw while she continued

"Your stuff is still there, why not pick it up and then you can tell me everything" She said. I kind of needed my stuff, my keys and my wallet. And with her there Sam wouldn't do anything right? So I opened the door and stepped into the car.  
>We raced through the street and I saw how it happened, I saw how she lost control of the steeringwheel. I saw how the tree came closer and closer and how the car wrapped around it. I heard how Crystal's neck snapped and I felt how the seatbelt pressed so hard against my chest that I wasn't able to breath.<p>

The first few seconds were a little blurry, I wasn't able to see clear but I smelled blood. I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus. The car was completely wrecked, I turned to Crystal, there was a piece of glass in her neck. Not knowing what to do I pulled it out and tried to feel her pulse. There was none.

"Om my god" I whispered to myself as I clapped my hand before my mouth. Suddenly my body started to tingle and I tasted something godly on my tongue, I started at my hand and then at the dead body that was next to me. What was I doing? I rubbed my finger in more blood and licked it, my vision cleared and the impact of the crash faded away. My body felt strong and alert, I wasn't even tired anymore. The feeling that floated through my body was one of the greatest things that I ever experienced. My throat seemed to be on fire and my teeth were aching. Following my instinct I leaned forward and bit.


	5. THE RIGHTFUL CH 5

**Hi guys, I'm really sorry but my beta reader uploaded the wrong file last time when I was on vacantion. I useally write a few drafts and pick the one I like most.. SO PLEASE PLEASE TRY TO FORGET THE OTHER CHAPTER IT WAS NOT THE ONE I INTENDED HERE. **

The reason I wanted to be a vet is that I disliked people, a lot. The only thing they brought me was pain. When I was 2,5 and living on the streets I made a friend. My first friend ever, he was loyal and friendly to me. He brought me an abandoned house. That was the first place I could call home. It was dirty with all sorts of rodent, but it was home. We managed with the two of us, we cared for each other and had each other's backs. Bash ,who was a first class stray dog, kept me alive. When I grew older I did everything to earn a few dollars. With the earned money I bought him normal food, trying to ease his life. It worked for a little while, until he got sick. In the second year he died, leaving me all alone in this world. Now I sat all alone in the forest, again I was alone on this planet and I just craved for a friend. My clothes and skin were covered in dried op blood, it started to itch but I let it be. There was so much that I just needed new ones. I was sitting on a branch of one of the tallest trees I could find. Staring up to the sky I wondered if I was a bad person.  
>I should feel horrible but I didn't, I felt lonely but wonderful. I felt like I was reborn, that my body finally would cooperate with my mind. I wasn't tired or hungry at all. I felt like I could run three marathons and still build a whole house.<p>

It was already morning before I arrived home. With still no keys and my new gained powers I managed to climb through the window. My mind was still going back to crystal, the fact that I drank her blood and my new strength. I grabbed my pillow and cried myself to sleep, not knowing what to do else. It was nighttime when I opened my eyes again, there was someone knocking on my door..  
>Police, they were here to arrest me! But there was nowhere to go, so I collected my courage and opened the door with my spare key. In front of me there was a familiar face.<p>

"Jacob?" I mumbled still in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry Ruby!" He whispered

"How do you know?" I said while I stared at him surprised.

"Well…." He pulled of a paper that was pinned to my door. "I can read you know"

"You can what?" I grabbed the piece of paper out of his hands and scanned it quickly.

It was an Eviction Notice, they were planning to demolish the building and I had until Monday to pack my things. And to make it even worse, today was Monday… I dropped the paper and sat down on the bed defeated. I guess bad karma came back around immediately. I couldn't helping but I started crying, I didn't deserve this, I needed this room. It was all I had, the only place I could call home.  
>He sat down next to me and put his arm around me, I hugged him and cried on his shoulder.<p>

He petted my hairs "it's going to be okay Ruby"

I cringed when he called me that, but I said nothing to correct him. "It's just not fair' I muttered.  
>"No it's not" he said when he strengthened his grip around me. I pulled myself free and stared at my room. I didn't had much stuff, just some clothes and books. They were all that I owned.<p>

I looked at Jacob who was scanning the room in disbelief. When he felt my stare his eyes shifted to me.

"Where are you going now?" He asked watching me carefully.

"I do not know" I replied honest "But I will figure it out"

"Ruby you can stay with me until you figured it out" He offered, I smiled and shook my head.

"I can't accept that offer, you already did so much for me"

Before I cold blink he was standing in front of me "Ruby please, it's no big deal. You can stay with me until you figured it out" He grabbed my hands "It's no problem really"

I looked up and nodded, it was not like I had another choice. I had no friends here, no money, no job. I wasn't even able to get myself a motel for tonight. So I put my life in the hands of this person, who seemed to be reasonable and safe.  
>It took us on half hour to move all my belongings from my room to his car. When I sat down in the passenger seat and he pinched my leg I wondered why he was even here. I turned around and noticed he was dressed really well. He was wearing a tuxedo, but he looked like he didn't wore it much often. Then it hit me, we were supposed to go on date tonight. Now I felt even more guilty and I started to cry again. His eyes found mine for just a second until he turned them to the road again. He grabbed my hand and I held it tight. I really needed someone now, I needed a friend.<br>When we arrived we brought my stuff to the same bedroom as the last time I was here. my

"Why don't you freshen up and I'll fix us something to eat" Jacob smiled and left me alone. I took a shower and felt a little better. A little, I absolutely did not know how to cope with this, I lost my house, I survived a car crash and drained out the driver of that car crash. The worst of all was that I loved it, my body felt great. For once in my life I didn't feel tired.

I got dressed and walked downstairs, Jacob was cooking and didn't seem in much stress. He was humming and seemed actually quite happy. He was a real good doer.

"Feel a little better?" He asked. I gave him a half smile and shrugged "Guess so"

"Well just wait until you taste my homemade chicken ala Jacob" he grinned "You'll feel much better"

"My friend died yesterday" I mumbled. Surprised he stared at me "You poor thing" he said as he hurried to pull me into his arms.

"I just don't know how to cope with this you know" I whispered while I pressed my face in his neck.

"I'll get you a drink" he grunted as he let me go. He grabbed a glass and poured me some bourbon.

"You are 21 or over right?" He said as he handed me the glass with a wink. I stared at it first, I never ever drank alcohol. I walked to the living room before taking a sip. When I did it burned in my throat, the taste was horrible but it seemed to warm me up from the inside. I liked that, and I drank the rest of it too. When Jacob came with our plates my cheeks were red and warm. He handed me the food and we ate in silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked

"She died in a carcrash"

"I'm sorry"

"Me too" I said while I took another bite. "Do you think we're horrible people for eating chicken?" I asked bluntly. He looked at me in surprise and then looked at his plate.

"No, I don't. When something served its purpose and we or something else can eat it, that's okay right? Otherwise it would only rot in the ground"

I nodded overthinking the situation. I guess that seemed about right.

"I'm sorry I ruined our date" I said. Jacob already changed in more comfortable clothing. "I liked the suit" I added. It seemed like he was blushing a little because of those words. Just a little.

"Thanks" He grinned.

I grabbed the remote control and switched on the TV. There was a movie playing and a terrible child monster came in view. I jumped up without even realizing it.

Jacob grinned "relax it's just the Grudge, I was watching it last night"

I stared at the screen in horror. "But this is horrible, why would you want to watch this?"

"Well I'm not scared easily" he said while he shrugged.

"well usually that counts for me as well" I said while I pointed my chin up. Jacob laughed and grabbed and tossed me the remote control.

"Sure thing, just pick out something nice. I'll take back the plates to the kitchen"

I did a little zapping while still in thought. Suddenly he jumped up from behind the couch. Scaring me I jumped up and dropped the remote control. He laughed again and I gave him a push "Jerk" I shouted a little irritated.

"I thought you were not scared easily" He said with a goofy grin. I gave him a sad smile back. Yeah that's what I thought too. I finished yet another glass of bourbon and somehow I strated to feel a little dizzy, my vision was blurry and my moves were uncontrolled but somehow I felt okay.  
>"You look a little drunk" he said while he caressed my cheek.<p>

"Well maybe I am, who cares" I giggled.

"Come on I'll take you to bed" he said, but I refused to stand up. He sighted deep and then picked me up like a rag doll. He carries me to the bedroom and I buried my face in his neck. He smelled like sandalwood, it smelled nice. He laid me down on bed and smiled at me.

"You are going to be okay" I promise he reassured me. He left the room and I undressed myself, crawling under the blankets. It took a while before I fell in a restless sleep. I woke quickly after huted by the face of crystal. Terrified I laid there in bed, for seconds not knowing where I was and what I was doing here. When I realized I was at Jacob's house and that I was safe I allowed myself to breath. I wasn´t tired anymore so I opened the window and climbed on the roof. It was cold, but not freezing. It was the perfect temperature for a starry night like this. The face of crystal was still hunting me, every moment I saw her dead body right before my eyes. I felt sick to my stomach when I thought about the blood that I drank from her. I wondered how this was even possible. Everybody heard the tales of vampires but I never really thought about them, Was it possible for someone to become a vampire? In the old tales they always died first, and when they died they wouldn't age. My growth was undeniable and I couldn't recall dying. So what the hell was wrong with me? Was I some kind of freak, a normal human being with the thirst for blood? No I wasn't normal.. I was only six in the body of an eighteen year old. I always wondered if that meant that because I grew so much in such a short amount of time I also would die sooner. All kinds of question without answers, and no one I could talk to them about. Eventhough Jacob proved to be my friend, I couldn't tell him this could I? I couldn't let him in on my dark secrets and supernatural life.

"Hey you" he whispered from behind me. When speaking of the devil..

"Hey" I replied giving him a fake half smile. He handed me a cup of tea and sat down next to me. I thanked him and we sat in silence for a while.

"So couldn't sleep he?" He whispered. Still looking up to the stars I just gave a quick nod. We didn't say much, but somehow that was how it was supposed to be. The silence was just perfect, I had no need to elaborate my feelings or thoughts and he seemed to understand. After a while he put his arms around my shoulders, at first I wanted to shrug it off but the heat that he was radiating felt really nice. So I let it be, somehow somewhere my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep in Jacob's arms. When he woke me there was already sunrise. We were still on the roof and I was lying with my head resting on his chest. He carried me inside and put me to bed, again. But I wasn't tired anymore and I walked downstairs, Jacob was taking shower while I made myself some coffee. When he came downstairs he was all dressed up for work.

"You take care of yourself, you can do whatever you want here okay?" He said as he pressed a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll manage" I grinned as I handed him his coat.

"Oh before I forget" he took something from his pocket and pressed it in my hand. It was a key "So you won't lock yourself out Ruby" He said with a smile. Again that word, _Ruby, _I cringed when he called me that. He seemed to notice but he didn't said anything about it.  
>He headed for the door, ready to take his leave "Jake wait" I said as I put down my coffee and rushed through his side. His big surprised eyes found mine. Just for a brief moment I pressed my lips on his. Then I parted and took a step back. His eyes never left mine and right before I wanted to turn around he grabbed and pushed his lips on mine. It was an intense kiss, just like the first one. His tongue found mine and I pressed my body against his. "Ruby I really need to go" He whispered. I let him, I grabbed my coffee and walked into the livingroom with his eyes in my back.<p>

This day was the first of many boring days, with Jake working overtime I was alone a lot. Most of the days were the same, he left for work in the morning came back for dinner and left to do a nightshift. I wondered if that was really necessary because there wasn't that much work in a garage right? But I didn't complain, I just played my part. I cooked and waited for him, sometimes I even feel asleep before I even saw him. The next day I found myself tucked in and most of the time I already missed hi then. Eventhough I was used to loneness I never felt as lonely as now. I really liked Jacob, he was sweet and kind and I never had a romantic relationship with anybody, But I just needed someone to talk to. I felt like I was going crazy.

When Jacob came home he was exhausted, His face was pale and he had cringes around his eyes.  
>He smiled when he saw me and pulled me in his arms. He sniffed up the scent of my hair and sighted deep.<br>"Hey you" He mumbled in my hairs.

"Hey you" I whispered back. He sat down on the couch and invited me to sit next to him.

"How was your day?" He asked as he gave me that special grin.

"Jake please you're exhausted, go to sleep" I begged. He shook his head.

"No I want to hear how your day was" He said while he suppressed a yawn. I gave him a look and grabbed his hand.

"Come on it's my turn to tuck you in" We walked upstairs and into his bedroom. When he hit the bed he was gone, in a deep restless sleep. I shook my head and sat down next to him. Poor thing. I leaned forward and began undressing him, starting with his shirt. He gave me an irritated moan and pulled me in his arms. He pulled me right on top of him, and at first I struggled to free myself. But secretly I didn't want to leave. Jacob made me feel safe, he made me feel wanted. He just made me feel special. So I stayed there, lying on his chest for the whole night. I slept like a baby and so did he. When I woke up he was staring at me, still holding me tight in his arms.

"You are so beautiful" He whispered.

"Well you look like crap" I laughed. His bulking laugh felt like a mini earthquake underneath me.

"Oh you little…" He said as he began to tickle me.

"No please…" I begged "Please stop" I laughed until it hurt, Jacob sat on top of me and tickled me everywhere. "J-j-jakeee" I giggled. Suddenly he stopped and gave me a long look. Then he leaned in and gave a long hot kiss.

"I'm really glad you are here" He whispered when he pulled back.

"Me too" I whispered as I grabbed his hairs and pulled him back. We made out for twinty minutes before he needed to get dressed.

"Don't wait up for me tonight" He said as he pressed a kiss on my lips. I started the day with coffee. But the aching in my throat became worse and worse. I needed to feed. But I just couldn't kill a person could I? I stared out of the window asking myself what I should do. With my new eyesight I saw a deer in the woods, for a human it was impossible to see. But I could see him clearly, and there was my answer. Eventhough I loved animals, I ate them too. So why not drink their blood? Resolute I grabbed my coat and my jacket and headed out.

I hiked for a few hours, delaying the kill for as long as I could. Suddenly I came across a mountain lion, he saw me first. His body was already prepping for an attack when I saw him. Instinctive I reacted. When he jumped I did too, with one move I broke his neck. He landed on the ground, dead.

"Oh my god" I mumbled. I really scared myself, I killed this creature with ease.

"Renesmee you need to feed" I told myself as I kneeled down. My fangs came out automatically and because of my reading I found the artery without any trouble. The blood tasted different, not like crystals blood did. But it was okay I guess, it was like comparing steak with Macdonalds. When I had enough I stepped back and wiped my mouth.

"Do you mind if I drink the rest?" A voice behind me asked.

Terrified I turned around, in front of me stood a man. He was tall and musculair, his hairs short and his eyes golden. He seemed to take in every move I made.

"Who are you?" I blurted out. A sense of danger washed over me.

"Who are you?" He replied. "Don't you know this is our land?"

"I am sorry, I didn't know" I stammered stepping backwards.

He held his head slantwise. Inspecting me with those golden eyes of him.

"Who are you, who is your creator?"

"M-my what?"

"Who made you?"

"My parents?" I replied confused. The look in his eyes got a little darker, he thought I was mocking him. He stepped closer. My heartbeat got faster and I swallowed, but the lump in my throat didn't seem to go away. He raised his hand and suddenly grabbed my neck. I panicked but tried to hold as still as possible, with tears in my eyes I stared at him.

"You have a heartbeat" He whispered as his eyes got big. I nodded and he let me go.

"What are you?" He whispered locking his eyes in mine.

"I don't know"

He grabbed my arms and pulled to a tree. He jumped in it and offered me a hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me up.

"I never met someone like you" He muttered still staring at me.

"Well I haven't met someone like you either" I said frowning.

"My name is Emmett" He said introducing himself.

" It's nice to meet you Emmett, you can call me Ruby" I smiled.

"So you are a vampire right?" I asked bluntly, he nodded. "Yes I am"

"How do you become a vampire?" I asked, and he explained. We talked for hours and it felt great to finally tell someone my struggles. He told me about his and his wife and family.

"You know, my father is a doctor" He started "If you want he can take a look at you" he suggested.

"I guess that can do no harm right?" I smiled "I really need to head back now"

He nodded "I understand, what about tomorrow same place same time?" I nodded and when I blinked there was no trace of him. He vanished in thin air. I headed back to Jacob's house with some peace of mind. I made a new friend today, a very special friend. I hoped his father was able to help me, tell me what was wrong with me. Maybe, just maybe I had even a shot at being normal.  
>I arrived minutes before Jacob, just when I changed he walked in. He lifted me up and spun me around.<p>

"I've been looking forward to seeing you all day" He smiled when he pressed hundreds of kisses on my face. I giggled. He looked at me and somehow his eyes turned a little brighter "You look great today" I felt great too, my body was fully charged and I was so happy I could talk to my new friend.  
>Both in a good mood we started making dinner, that was until the phone rang. When Jacob picked up I saw him break, I just saw something was wrong. He dropped everything and I rushed to his side.<p>

"No, please no" he sobbed while he sat down on the ground. The always thought Jacob broke down and started crying, I threw my arms around him. I felt so helpless, not knowing what to do or what to say.

"He died, and it's all my fault" he sobbed.

"It's not your fault, please don't say that" I whispered. He stood up suddenly angry,  
>"It is, you don't understand" he shouted with tears in his eyes. I stepped back, hurt I stared at him.<p>

"It is my fault he died!" He shouted while he grabbed a vase and smashed in on the ground.

"Jake please" I whispered before he began on the rampage of the rest of the house. He went to his bedroom and I could hear him cry. But he refused to open de door for me. I sat down against it, waiting for him to help me help him. Pictures of Crystal came back to haunt me. We both cried, with the door between us.

"Jake" I mumbled when I knocked for the 7th time. "Please open the door" I sighted. But he didn't. He didn't want me to help him, and to be honest I couldn't. I didn't even know his friend, so what could I say? I sighted and went to bed. I couldn't sleep and I stared at the ceiling until sunrise. Jacob's room was still locked and I really needed to get out for a while. So I grabbed my coat and shoes and went into the woods. I tried to wipe away my tears as good as I could but they never stopped. I waited hours for Emmett in the loneliness of the woods. He surprised me, he was suddenly next to me.

"Hey are you okay?" He whispered while he wrapped his arm around me. I wanted to say that I was fine, but before I could there were more tears and more sobbing.

"Hey little one, it's going to be okay" he said while he wrapped his arm around me.

"You are right" I said while I wiped the tears away again. He nodded and stood up, we walked to his house. "My family will really like you" he said with a grin.

"You think?" I said while raising my eyebrows.

"A house full of freaks? Ofcourse they will like you" He said and I threw my head back and laughed. His house was big, nervous I walked in after Emmett. A bad feeling rushed over me.  
>"Maybe I shouldn't be here" I mumbled nervous. "Don't be a wuss, they won't hurt you" he said while he gave me a little push. I licked my lips and braided my fingers.<p>

"So I see you brought a friend Emmett" A handsome man stood up from the sofa. His eyes were the same color as Emmett's. His skin a little paler and his eyes told me he wasn't the age his body was portraying. He held out his hand and I shook it.

"Ruby right? My name is Carlisle nice to meet you" He smiled politely.

"I hear from Emmett you want me to examine you?" I nodded and he gestured me to follow him. I watched Emmett and he nodded that it was alright. He followed the doctor and I followed Emmett. They sat me down in a chair. "So is it correct that you drink blood?" Carlisle asked.  
>As an answer I flicked my fangs out. His eyes widened and a little smiled played his lips when I did that.<br>"This is phenomenal" He said while the fingers stuck in rubber gloves felt my fangs. He checked my pulse and the rate of my heartbeat. He kept mumbling that it was interesting.

"How do you feel when you drink blood?" He asked me when he pulled of his gloves.

"Stronger, faster, charged" I replied honest.

"What happens when you just eat normal food?"

"I tire easily, I need a cup of coffee every hour otherwise I'll fall asleep"

"Can I take some blood for research purposed?" He asked. I nodded and he took a needle and stuck it in my arm.

"D-do you know what is wrong with me?" I asked

Before he could answer there were sound of shouting and struggle in the hallway. We all hurried to see what was going on.

"Where is she? I can smell her" I heard a voice scream. A familiar voice. When I turned the corner my eyes found two brown ones and two golden ones.

"If you hurt her I swear I will kill of you" He shouted

"Jacob!" I shouted "Stop, all these people did is being nice to me!"

"These leeches killed my best friend, they created a monster. They are bloodsucking predators and I don't want you to be in danger" he shouted back "You are my responsibility"

"She is not a possession" The blond female screamed showing him her teeth.

"Do not make me rip you apart" he growled at her.

"Well well if that isn't the big bad wolf' I heard another familiar voice behind me


	6. Welcome to the family

"Edward" Jacob nodded towards him. They seemed to know each other. That name seemed somehow familiar, but I couldn't place him in my life in any way. Emmett frowned and stared at Edward. The Edward person didn't gave me a single look. He just stared with hatred at Jacob. Jacob however stared at him with even more hatred.

"So are you trying to fill Bella's loss with a ridiculous inferior version of her?" He snorted while he gestured at me.

"EDWARD" Emmett shouted. "She is my friend and I will not allow you to speak of her in this way"

Edward snorted "Please Jacob, do us a favor and take your lying whore with you"

"Excuse me?" I blurted out while I stared at the person who was trashing me.

"RUBY WE ARE GOING RIGHT NOW" Jacob shouted and he grabbed my arm. He pulled me away which such a strength that I couldn't protest. Emmett's eyes found mine, but before I could say something I was already standing outside. Jacob almost threw me in the car, when he sat down on the drivers seat he didn't even looked at me.

"GODDAMMIT RUBY, WHY DID YOU DO THIS. I BURIED MY FRIEND TODAY, AND WHEN I CAME BACK YOU WERE PLAYING WITH THOSE MONSTERS?"

"I'm sorry" I mumbled.

"YOU ARE SORRY?" he shouted while he slammed his hand on the steering wheel.

"DO YOU EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND THAT SORRY IS GOING TO COVER THIS?"

"JEEZ WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM JACOB" I shouted back. HE hit the brakes hard and in seconds we were standing still. It was a good thing that I buckled up otherwise I would have flown through the window. When he looked at me his eyes were flaming with anger.

"Do you even know who those people are Ruby? Do you know in how much danger you were?"

"I don't th-" He shook his head. "Don't you know nothing about them, don't even start with me" He growled. I swallowed the rest of the words. "

"What did they ever do to you that you became so bitter" I hissed.

"They murdered my best friend, choose a monster over her" he said while he started the car again.

"I thought she died in childbirth?" I replied

"They are not human Ruby" He whispered.

"I know, they are vampires"

"Every one of them is a monster. When Edward got Bella pregnant the monsterbaby killed her slowly from the inside. No human should ever go through that. It broke her bones, caused internal bleedings and made her slowly go crazy" he said while his eyes focused on the road.  
>"I didn't want you to find out like this, I would have told you when you were ready. But there is something else that I need to tell you" He cleared his throat. "Me and my friends are werewolves, with exception of the Cullens we kill every vampire that comes here. We are the protectors of the Locals. "<p>

I swallowed while I processed all of this. Well Renesmee how do you even manage to get yourself in these kind of situations? Jacob was a werewolf? That thing that ripped up vampires?

"You kill all vampires?" I asked with a tiny voice.

"Every single one of them" He growled "they are all monsters. They can't control, leech on humans. We got a pack with the Cullens but the rest needs to die"

I did not reply, frightened I looked out of the window. What would he do to me when he found out I was a vampire? Was I a vampire? I did not know.

"RUBY PLEASE SAY SOMETHING" he begged me while grabbing my hand.

"I need to let this sink in Jacob" I replied. He nodded but did not let go of my hand. I wanted to bury my face in his neck and cry. But I didn't, I didn't knew what he would do to be when he found out. Maybe he or his friends would kill me too.

"What were you even doing there in the first place?" He asked me with curiosity in his voice.

"I went hiking and I fell, Emmett found me and brought me to Carlisle to see if I was okay" I lied. It was cold lie that I thought up way too easily. My whole life was a lie, so what was new?

"Oh" He said while parking the car on the driveway. I pulled away my hand and walked in. I did not wait for him, I didn't took off my shoes nor my coat. I went straight for my room and locked the door. Ofcourse he came after me. He knocked at first, begging me to open the door. I tried to ignore him by covering my ears. I didn't want to hear him, I wanted this to be a very very bad dream. I really cared about Jacob, I really liked him and maybe I even loved him. I didn't know yet, because I had no idea how love felt. But I thought I did… And now this. This was getting way too complicated. Vampires, werewolves what was next?

"Ruby…" I heard him whisper at the other side of the door. I cringed and buried my face in my pillow. This was so not happening. After a while he stopped trying, but he never left my doorstep. He even slept there but went away for work in the morning. I didn't sleep at all, but that was okay. I fed so I didn't needed much sleep anyway. I checked the house to make sure he was really gone, he was. He left me a note on the kitchen table 'Ruby. Can we please talk tonight? I can't' lose you'' I sighted and putt it down. What was I to do? First I needed answers about myself. I needed to know what I was. I took a chance and went to the spot where I first met Emmett. I climbed in a tree and waited, overthinking what I should do.

"It surprised me to find you here" I heard his voice. In seconds he sat on the branch next to me.

"I thought Edward probably scared you off"

I shook my head. "He didn't." He nodded and we sat there in silence waiting for the other to say something first.

"Carlisle got back your bloodwork. He did it himself" He said while he pulled out some leaves.

"What does it say?' I asked hopeful. "I do not know, he wanted to tell you himself" Emmett said. I nodded and looked at his hands that were pulling out more leaves. "I won't let anything happen to you. I'll protect you" He said as he grinned towards me.

"What do werewolves do" I asked thinking about Jacob. Emmett sighted deep.  
>"Werewolves are complicated Ruby. They are made to protect their own from vampires"<p>

"So eventually they are going to kill me?" I said while my eyes teared up.

"I do not know, does Jacob know about the drinking?" He asked me, I shook my head.

"I can not give you an answer to this question I'm sorry" He said.

In silence we walked to the Cullen house. I hoped this time there would be no screaming and fighting. The livingroom and kitchen were empty, Emmett guided me to Carlisle's office and knocked.

"Come on in" I heard Carlisle's voice from the other side. We walked in. He seemed surprised but happy to see me.

"Ruby I thought you probably wouldn't come back after our little incident. I would like to offer you my sincere apologies. My son is usually not that mean against our guests. I simply nodded not knowing what else to do. Emmett grabbed me a chair and I sat down. He walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked slightly panicking. He turned around and smiled "Relax I'm just getting you some water" Then he closed the door leaving me alone with Carlisle.

"Again I'm really glad you are here" he smiled at me while getting my file.

"how are you feeling?" He kindly asked me. I just gave him a look that said more than a thousand words.

"Vampirism is quite a struggle for the most Ruby, ,I promise I'll help you overcome most of the struggles. But you have to promise that you will be completely honest with me okay?"

"Okay"

"Emmett told me you do not know who turned you. Is that correct?" He asked. I nodded.

"Do you remember the pain?" he asked while taking notes is his file. I shook my head.

"So no pain?" He asked surprised

"How the thirst?"

"Okay I guess. It is manageable"

He squinted his eyes and scribbled down something on the paper.

"You are living with Jacob I presume?"

"Yes I am" I swallowed trying to hold the tears back "But he told me he is a werewolf and that he kills vampires. Do you think he is going to kill me?"

Emmett came in with my glass of water. Carlisle looked at his file frowning.

"What do you think Emmett; Jacob?" Carlisle asked. Emmett's face filled with confusion.

"I do not know, I do not know what their relationship is"

"I can't go back there, I saw the anger in his eyes. He'll kill me" I mumbled staring at the bookcase in front of me.

"I need to get out of here" I whispered.

"Yes you should" And other voice interrupted my thoughts. Him again, two cold golden eyes found mine.

"Edward you promised to stay out of this. Be polite to our guest" Carlisle stated as a warning.

"Why did you bring her here?" Edward hissed towards Emmett "You can see for yourself that she is a dead ringer for Bella"

"Why must you torture me this way" He continued.

"I'm sorry for your loss" I said calm. He turned around his golden eyes shifting back to me.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Ruby"

"You are lying" he squinted his eyes.

"No I am not"

"What's you date of birth?" He asked

"I- da- Why do you want to know that"

His eyes widened in surprise. "You don't even know your date of birth do you?"

My cheeks flushed and slowly my head turned red.

"How old are you anyway 18?"

He squinted his eyes again. "No you are not. You are younger"

I got ever redder and turned my eyes to the ground.

He grabbed my neck and slammed me into the wall "What is your real name" he hissed I tried to push him away by pushing my hands in his face. Then before I realized I was in his head. Usually my powers worked one way. I was able to show people what I wanted them to see. But sometimes when I was angry or scared it worked the other way around too.

_'__It's a girl' Someone said. _

_"__I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THIS BABY. JUST PUT IT SOMEWHERE. BECAUSE OF THAT THING MY WIFE IS DYING' Edwards voice_

_"__JUST THROW IT OUT OF THE WINDOW. THE BABY IS AN ABONIMATION. A MONSTER' Jacob's voice._

Emmett and Carlisle grabbed him and pulled him away. With that the vision ended as well. But he already read the answer in my mind. Surprised he stared at me.

"No this can't be" He whispered. Pulling free from Emmett.

"You are supposed to be six"

"I am six" I cried while rubbing over my throat.

"Renesmee" He whispered staring at me. The others reacted in shock, Emmett's eyes grew as big as plates. Carlisle was more professional but still surprised. Before they could say anything Edward left the room. I sat down on the chair again and let my face rest in my hands.

"Then suddenly Emmett picked me up and leaped me into his arms. "Little niece found her way home" He said while he almost hugged me to death. He carried me to the livingroom and planted me on the couch. He then called everyone downstairs, there were six of them. Touching me, looking at me but I just wanted to be alone for a while. I stared at my so called family. They looked so happy to see me, but there was something gnawing at me. A little voice that kept screaming in my head: 'Don't trust them. They abandoned you.'

They were asking me so much questions, too many questions. I didn't hear any of them. I was still completely in shock. Not only did I find my family, I also found out that they did not want me. Them and Jacob they didn't want me. God Jacob even hates me, because I am the one who killed his friend. My mother, wow that sounded really weird. He talks with so much hates about the monsterbaby, me. This was too much to handle right now.

"Excuse me for a second" I said interrupting ten questions. I walked into the kitchen and got myself a new glass of water. Breathe come on Renesmee I said to myself. I was going to lose Jacob. He would hate me forever.

"Are you okay?" It was Emmett. My only beacon in this darkness. I shook my head. "No I'm not okay" He hurried to my side and aided me as good as he could. He wasn't a talker and I wasn't able to talk about this yet. _They wanted me dead. _Everybody looked so happy, but just six years ago they wanted to throw me out of the window. Eventhough he probably hated me right now I wanted Jacob. I needed him to hold me, comfort me tell me nothing has changed. But everything had changed. I was a born enemy now.

"I need to go" I muttered as I dropped my glass of water. I was shaking real bad. I needed some time to think. Me time, just me time. I grabbed my coat from the couch.

"Where are you going?" The blonde female asked me.

"I really need some fresh air" I rushed outside. I found a picknicktable and sat down on it. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I knew I was supposed to be happy, but I wasn't. Eventhough I had found my family, it felt like I had lost everything.

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	7. Bloody Hell

They didn´t let me return to Jacob. It was like an unsaid rule that I couldn´t leave the house. They kept lingering around me, always keeping an eye on me. I learned the names of the family bit by bit. There was Emmett his significant other Rosalie. Then you had Jasper and Alice, which both had an ability. Jasper could influence people´s emotions and Alice could foresee the future in some way. I didn´t asked her, but I wondered why she didn´t saw me coming. The parents of the unregulated mess were Esme and Carlisle. Then you had Edward, my biological father, which seemed to never be around. He seemed to do everything in his power to avoid any contact with me.

Hours passed since I found out this truth in this house. It was already passed midnight. Jacob should be home be now. I was nervous because I knew the confrontation would come sooner or later. How was I to tell him that I was the thing he hated most. The daughter of the girl he loved. And well that I was only six. The girls felt my anxiety and tried to start a conversation with me, I felt not the need to elaborate. I didn´t even knew what my place was, so I sat in the kitchen trying to avoid as much contact as I could. I never wanted this to happen, my life was so much more complicated right now.  
>Esme came to find me, with Emmett right behind her. She told me they fixed up a room for me. Esme who was beaming all over the place showed me the room with enthusiasm. I wondered how they were able to do all this in such a short amount of time.<p>

`do you like it?" she asked. I just nodded and tried to give her a smile. I didn't really know what to think of this. I felt like I was locked up in a prison of luxuriance. I closed the door behind them, telling them that I wanted to get some sleep. More lies, I sat down on the bed. I didn't even know how to feel. Was I supposed to feel happy because I was a part of a family now, was I supposed to be sad that I wouldn't see Jacob anymore, or was I supposed to be mad because both didn't want me and both tried to kill me when I was just a baby. I sat there doing nothing until I heard his car. I recognized the sound of his footsteps. They probably called him. I rushed to the mirror and brushed my hair trying to look a little bit okay. I stumbled out of my door and ran downstairs. Carlisle and Jacob were arguing in the hallway. It was needless to say he was angry.

"Jacob please calm down"

"Calm down? You people take everything that is beautiful and pure and turn it in something horrible." He screamed. I stopped halfway on the stairs, I was too afraid to let them know I was there. He brought all my bags with him, this wasn't a good sign.

"She is still the same girl" Carlisle tried to reason.

"Still the same girl? I know nothing of her. All she did was lie to me." He growled.

"Jacob.." I whispered. They both looked up. I kept staring at Jacob, he clutched his jaw when he saw me.

"Can we please talk?" I begged while I walked down two more steps.

"Ruby… Renesmee whoever you are" He said with an icecold voice "We have nothing to talk about" he said. We maintained eyecontact for a few more seconds before he shook his head. He turned around and left, not even looking back one more time. He just closed the door and didn't came back. Carlisle's eyes found mine, his eyes full of pity he stared at me. I just turned around and fled back to my room. I locked the door and fell on my bed. I cried in my pillow, I cried and cried until my body was dehydrated and the tears dried up. Everything made me think of him. The stars that looked over me right now, sleeping in his arms. And most of all the disgusted look he gave me when he walked out of the door.

He had been my first everything. My first real friend, my first lover and my first home. I wandered how it would have been when I never would have getting in that car. Or if I never went into the woods and met Emmett that day. But on the other hand then I would never met my family.  
>They knocked so many times I lost count. I didn't responded and never opened the door. I wanted everyone to go away, I didn't want their sympathy. I just wanted that they didn't made my life so complicated. In the morning I wasn't able to cry anymore, I stood up and brushed my teeth. The reflection in the mirror stared at me like an old friend. I looked horrible, but I've seen worse. Living on the street wasn't easy either. When I walked downstairs eyes followed me everywhere. I tried to ignore all of them. I walked to the kitchen and tried to find something eatable. But there was nothing, the only thing they had was coffee and tea. So I made myself a cup of coffee. I sat down on the couch and fought with the remote. The stupid television didn't seemed to work like I wanted it to.<p>

"Here let me help you" The blond female popped up from behind me. She grabbed the remote control out of my hand and pressed some buttons. To make it even worse she put up the Disney channel.

"I heard you crying last night" She mumbled. "That filthy dog isn't worth it"

"What?" I hissed.

"He is just a stupid Dog, he isn't worth the trouble. Be glad he is gone" With those words she just hit a sore spot.

"Be glad? Do I look glad" I said while I jumped up "He was my friend, he took care of me. He was the first person to give me a home. Made me feel special" I said while me eyes were tearing up.

"And now I'm here. Stuck with people I don't even know. People who didn't even want me in the first place" Out of anger I threw the coffeecup on the ground. The black liquid splashed all over the place.

"So are you trying to tell me I should be happy with you guys? The people who dumped me in the forest? The people who found me went completely mental! " Jasper and Emmett walked in trying to find a reason for all this commotion.

"Do you know what they gave me for my birthday? An exorcism!" I wiped away the tears that streamed down my face.

"He was the only person that made me feel normal, so don't you dare speak about him in that way"

I rushed back to my room. Coming out was a bad idea in the first place. Quickly I locked the door, just a second before someone tried to open it. Why didn't this people leave me alone, I wasn't a kid anymore I didn't need them. Not anymore, I needed them real bad a few years ago. But not anymore. When the anger reduced I got bored. I didn't know what to do with my life at this point. I was locked in here with no purpose. After a while I decided that I would talk to Carlisle. So I walked downstairs and waited for him in his office. He came in after sunset. I picked up a book about anatomy which I read until he came back.

"Renesmee, how are you?" He asked me surprised I was waiting for him in his office.

"Will I ever get older?" I asked him. He frowned and laid down his bag and coat.

"I think you will live quite a while. Your body is functioning perfectly" He answered.

"That's not what I mean. Will I ever look older or will I look 18 forever?"

"To be perfectly honest, I do not think you will age"

"So there is not a single chance I can ever work as a vet" I whispered defeated. He shook his head and I sat down in the nearest chair. I had nothing to fight for, all my dreams were crushed.

"Thank you for being honest with me" I mumbled and walked out of the office. Grabbing a glass of water on my way to my room I felt their eyes in my back. Again. When I opened the door I noticed someone sitting on my bed.

"Renesmee" He greeted me

I sighted deep when I stared at the man who was my father.

"What do you want?" I asked agitated.

"Ï think we need to talk"

"I don't" I said while I folded my arms before my chest.

"you are just as stubborn as your mother" He sighted while he tried to give me a smile.

I shrugged my shoulder. I just wanted him to leave and let me be. He ran his hands through his hair absentmindedly.

"What do you want from me" I asked him straight to the point. No nonsense.

"I want to get to know you"

"Fuck you" I replied "So now that I walked into your life you want to play the dad? Newsflash you are NOT my dad. You are too late, I don't need you anymore" I growled. This family was playing on my nerves.

"Renesmee wait" he said when I walked down the stairs.

I grabbed my coat and shoes and put them on.

"Renesmee listen to me" He shouted after me. These people were completely mental, what was their problem.

"WHY WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU" I shouted back. "I HATE YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY DAD. I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY AND I DON'T WANT ONE EITHER' I slammed the door in his face and ran into the woods. Stupid Cullen family. I ran and ran until I found myself in the middle of the woods. There were no sounds behind me so they didn't follow me. At least that was a good thing. Without even realizing it I walked to Jacob's house. I saw the light and climbed the nearest tree. I stared at the house, the house that I once called home. I started to rain and within seconds I was completely soaked. But I didn't left, I held on to this little piece of hope I had. I saw him in the kitchen and on the couch. I could help but smile when I saw him. I watched the house for the whole night before I returned to the Cullen's house. I took a long hot shower and was able to sleep since days. When I woke up someone was sitting in my room. Golden eyes stared at me when I sat up.

"Good afternoon" He smiled, his name was Jasper if I wasn't mistaking.

"Hi" I said

"We are the only ones home today" He smiled "They asked me to look after you"

"I can take care of myself" I grunted while I wrapped myself inside the blankets again.

"Renesmee I know who started off on the wrong foot, but I want to make that right. I download a movie and even bought you Ben and Jerry's"

I sat up suddenly realizing that I was craving for Ben and Jerry's. Also I didn't feel that angry and sad anymore, it seemed a little better.

"Fine" I sighted and stepped out of bed. And that's how I made my next friend in the Cullen family. Maybe it had something to do with his ability to make me feel better, or maybe it was because I treated me like an adult. But I liked Jasper. We talked about this past and I even let him in on mine. A little that was. After that it went a little better inside the house, we made progress. Babysteps that was but still progress.

I went to the exact same spot every night. The Cullens knew but never said anything about it. They shouldn't try either because it was none of their business. When I climbed down on the seventh night something jumped me. Big paws pressed me to the ground and razor sharp teeth were just a few inches from my face. I groaned and tried to push the wolf off me, but it was just like deadweight I couldn't move it for an inch. I was getting trouble with breathing and needed to do something or else I would suffocate. So I did what my instinct told me and bit the wolf, he let his guard down for a second and I ran. I ran as hard as I could. When I arrived back home I flew right in the arms of Emmett.

"What happened" he asked worried

"Something attacked me" I cried. My heart was racing and there was still a lot of adrenaline pumping through my body. I was shaking like a leaf. Emmett carried me to the couch and Jasper brought me tea. Carlisle checked me to see if I was hurt and Esme got me a blanket and went to make me something to eat. I sat between Jasper and Emmet both trying to comfort me as much as they could.

"Can we do something for you?" Jasper asked while he send me a wave of comfort.

"Please don't leave me alone" I begged. I fell asleep with my head on Jaspers lap and my legs over Emmett's. They kept their word and stayed with me, they barely moved making it so comfortable as they could. I woke up because someone slammed the door really hard. Agitated I opened my eyes. My head was killing me and I felt a little dizzy. Probably because I didn't fed for a while. When I realized what was happening my heart jumped up. The pack was here, I heard their voices in Carlisle's office. I noticed Emmett was their too, but Jasper stayed behind to keep me safe. He gave me a look.

'I need to go in there" I begged him. He nodded, he seemed to understand. So I jumped up and ignored the stars in front of my eyes. I walked to the room and opened my door.

"She attacked a wolf, she crossed the border" I heard someone say. I cleared my throat forcing their attention on me.

"Don't you think I should be here, if this meeting is about me?" I said staring at the one who just spoke. I searched the room and found Jacob. He squinted his eyes and clutched his jaw when he saw me.

"Is it really necessary to bring the whole pack here?" I asked directing the question to him. "We could have talked about this you know, just the two of us. "

He didn't reply. So I continued. "Could you please ask them to leave?" I said locking our gaze. He gave them a sign and the pack left the room. I turned around to the Cullen "You too, please" awkwardly they walked to the livingroom together.

"Jacob" I said while I gave him a long look. His eyes were cool and he returned my stare. I took a few breaths and took a chair to sit down. The room was spinning around me but I needed to focus. Maybe this would be the last time that I would ever see him, I needed to make up. And I needed to make up right now. He kept standing there.

"You attacked a wolf, you crossed the border" he growled "You broke the rules"

"The wolf attacked me and what border are you talking about?" I answered.

He squinted his eyes again "They didn't tell you?" I shook my head.

"What were you doing there anyway?" He asked folding his hands before his chest.

"Reliving memories." I said while I shrugged my shoulders. I was something change in his eyes when I said that. I stood up to reach out for him. I shouldn't have done that because I wasn't able to breath anymore. I gasped for air and fell down on my knees, My eyes started to tear up and a red haze made it impossible for me to see. Blood dripped out of my eyes and nose. I coughed and spitted out more blood.

"Jake please help me" I begged before I lost consciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

I can't remember much of it. What happened or even when I passed out. I remember Jake rushing to my side and lifting me up like a ragdoll. I remember the cold hands of Carlisle and Emmett holding my hand. After that there was just darkness.

When I woke up Jasper and Edward were at my side. The second I opened my eyes Jasper hurried to get Carlisle.

"You scared us pretty good" Edward said while handing me a glass of water.

"What happened?" I asked in a whisper.

"You passed out, there was blood running from your eyes, mouth and nose"

That I remember, the thing I wanted to know was what was causing it. Then Carlisle walked into the room giving me a smile.

'I'm glad to see you're awake" He smiled. I nodded and handed the glass back to Edward. My hands were shaking so much I spilled the half of the glass over my sheets. It took me a lot of effort to sit up, and when I laid my head back into the pillow I needed to catch my breath. Carlisle checked my pulse and the reflexes of my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me.

"Never been better" I tried to smile.

"I got a theory of what happened" He said and sat down on the bed.

"I overheard that you attacked Leah"

I shook my head and interrupted him "She attacked me"

He continued "Normally a vampire bite would kill a werewolf. In this case you were both lucky because it seems you are not venomous. However the blood in your system caused your body to fight it off in a extreme way. When normal vampires drink werewolf blood they experience abnormal nausea, but because you're half human your body could cope with its vampire side trying to fight off the werewolf blood"

"Oh" was all I was able to say. My body was protesting by shaking heavily. I needed some sleep, but I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to see Jacob, I wanted to talk to Jacob and explain him my side of the story. I saw Edward frown. Also I wanted to know how he reacted, did he stay by my side or did he just leave me? Questions I was afraid to ask.

"Can you leave us for a second?" Edward asked them. I rolled my eyes when they did, not looking forward to spending time with my father. He glided his chair near the bed and sat down, not interested in bonding I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep.

"He stayed" He said. I opened my eyes.

"He stayed until Carlisle told us you were going to be okay" I squinted my eyes and glared at him.

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered with a raw voice.

"Because he is important for you, and after everything you been through I just want you to be happy. You are old and wise enough to make your own choices."

I nodded and closed my eyes again.' Thank you' I thought hard enough for him to hear. Then I fell in a restless sleep. When I woke up I felt even worse. My body was trembling and it was almost impossible for my legs to make a trip to the bathroom. I laid there for hours, boredom consuming me. I didn't want to read or play games I just wanted to make up with Jacob. Suddenly I had an idea. My mind had been thinking about every second that involved Jacob. Our first meeting, our first kiss and everything in between. I grabbed the phone from the nightstand. With shaking hands I dialed his number. I remembered his phone number by heart. I pressed dial but after a second I cancelled it. This was stupid, he probably didn't want to talk to me anyway. I laid the phone back on the nightstand but after a few minutes I picked it up again. I needed to fight for this, I needed to do this for myself. So I dialed again and pressed the green button. I pressed the phone against my ear and waited.

After horrible minutes of waiting he picked up. I heard his voice on the other side of the line and cringed in pain.

"Hello?" His harsh voice sounded. I didn't knew what to do, what to say I didn't prepared this and now I was speechless.

"Hello?" He growled again. I started sobbing quietly drinking in the sound of his voice. I never imagined missing someone could hurt this horrible. Then with one click it ended and the sound of a dead line rang in my ear. He hang up. I laid the phone back and curled up in my blankets slowly crying myself to sleep. When I woke up the room was completely dark, I groaned when I tried to sit up. My throat was aching and I reached for my bottle of water.

"Here let me get that" a voice surprised me from the dark. I flicked on the light to find him there. He was sitting in a chair next to my bed. I stared at him not believing my eyes.

"You are here" I mumbled while accepting the glass he offered. I gulped it down quickly and put it back.

"Well you called didn't you?" he answered. He leaned with his elbows on his knees and let his chin rest in his hands. His face was expressionless. I had no idea what he was thinking or what he was doing here.

"You are here" I muttered again, still is disbelief.

"how are you feeling?" He asked drilling his eyes in mine.

"Sick and mostly tired" I answered honestly. He nodded and then there fell a silence.

"I'm sorry" I then finally said. "For lying to you"

He nodded not answering at first. He stared at me, deep in thought.

"Please say something" I begged

In all that time we never lost eye contact.

"Ru – Renesmee" He started  
>"I forgive you for lying to me, I understand you did it for self-protection. I understand all of that, it just makes me sad that you didn't trust me enough to even tell me your name. " He sighed<p>

"But that isn't important anymore. All of that is in the past now. I still care about you, but after finding out that you are only six… The only thing I can offer you is my friendship."

"Your friendship?" I muttered while I sat up in my pillows. Confused I looked at him.

"What?" Did he just friendzone me? "No" I whispered while I looked at him in defeat.

"No, please don't do this to me Jake" I whispered.

"Renesmee" He took my hand "You're only six. This isn't a age to have a romantic relationship with someone. Do you know how I would've felt when we had sex and then found out you're only six. I would be a goddamn pedophile. So the only thing I can give you is my friendship. Until you are old enough for something else."

"Goddammit Jacob" I hissed "Do I look like I'm six? Do I look like I'm going to play with dolls in a few minutes?"

He shook his head "No Ness, But you need to understand that I'm doing this for you"

"For me?" I shouted "I'm sick of people making choices for me and treating me like a child! Because on the moment I did need you no one was there. So please don't give me this bullshit"

"Ren" he sighted.

I folded my arms and began staring at the window. Ignoring him the best I could. After a few minutes he stood up and pressed a kiss on my forehead before leaving. A few minutes later Carlisle came in to check on me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked sweetly

I shrugged my shoulders "Okay I guess"

"You are lucky you just had a few drop of werewolf blood in your system, more and who would've known what it would have done to you"

I nodded, not feeling the need to make a friendly conversation. Carlisle seemed to understand and soon let me be. I slept some more and after two days he cleared me. I was free to go where I wanted. Except I didn't had any place to go now. The next few days I spend hours in the woods, just walking. I scared away the ones that wanted to join me with my sharp tongue. Mostly I climbed a tree and bawled my eyes out. I was too young to cope with this, these dark twisted games of life. The Cullens knew what I was doing in the woods, but they never said a word about it. I didn't feel the need to talk to them anyway. I just wanted to alone. One night when I came home and went straight to my room I found a creditcard with my name on it. They were trying to make me feel welcome in the family I guess.

The next day I decided to use my creditcard and walked to the supermarket to buy myself some human food. I bought myself some chocolate, bread, cornflakes, milk and some cola. I stuffed everything in my backpack and walked outside. I noticed an old lady trying to load bags of dog food in her car. She seemed to have so much trouble with it that I walked over and helped her.

"Well thank you dear, that's really kind of you" She smiled.

With my renewed vampire strength I loaded the car without breaking a sweat. She bought dozens bags a dog food. When the cart was empty I smiled at her.

"That's a lot of dog food"

"I run a shelter, but usually my son helps me with it. But he is on vacation untill tomorrow so I'll have to do it on my own for a few days" She said while she straightened her back and dusted of her hands.

"I'll help you" I exclaimed. I already spoken the words before even realizing it.

"But dear girl, I can't pay you" She sighted while he inspected me with her old brown eyes.

"I need something to do anyway" I gave her a half smile "Forks is dead boring you know"

She accepted my offer and I got in the car with her. She drove us to the shelter that was in La Push. I knew I shouldn't be here because I was crossing the border. But I didn't care, if Jacob wanted to me to stay on the other side of the border he should come and tell me myself. The old woman told me her name was Elizabeth, I should call her Beth. She was 78 years old and her husband passed a few years ago. He left her so much money she could start a shelter. It was her dream and I never met someone who could speak with so much passion about something. I liked her, and I got the feeling she liked me too. When we arrived she offered me a cup of coffee which I happily accepted. She then gave me a tour, it was a small building and she had only seven dogs at the moment.

"You know, these dogs will never be placed elsewhere" She said while she petted the head of a grey poodle.

"Why not?" I asked curious when I tickled a Beagle.

"I saved all of them. They were in other shelters so long they needed to go the gasrooms."

"What really?!" I cringed looked at this sweet dogs. She nodded. "And now they are my friends and babies. I just want to give them a loving home"

"That's beautiful" I smiled at her. The Boston Terrier woke up and raced to me. He jumped on my lap and slobbered all over me. I grinned when I petted his head. He licked my face until Beth called him over for a treat. "The slobbermonster is called Angie" She grinned.

Soon after that we went to work. I cleaned out the whole kennel and took the dogs out for a walk. I bathed them all until they were as good as new. I again took them out for a walk and played with them all day long.

Beth was nice to me and seemed to really appreciate everything I did. She made me lunch and dinner. She baked me cookies and cupcakes and I imagined that this was what it would be having a real grandma. I really enjoyed that day and smiling I walked home. Whistling I enjoyed my hike.  
>then suddenly I got grabbed and was thrown over someone's shoulder. I could see who it was and I couldn't escape either because they were too strong. He smelled werewolf so I didn't dare to bite him.<p>

He brought me to Jacob's house. What a surprise. I was thrown on the kitchenfloor right before Jacob's feet.

"Leave us" I heard him growl and the John doe wolf disappeared before I could look at him.

"You know you can't cross the border whenever you feel like it" Jacob sighted as I stood up and sat down.

"And your guys can't just kidnap me whenever they feel like it" I hissed back. It was hard for me to look at him. So I just stared at my feet.

"Well actually they can, you should be glad they didn't kill you on the spot"

My eyes found his "Why didn't they"

He broke our eye contact "Because you are my friend"

"Jake please" I said while my eyes were tearing up. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me, don't do this to me, to us, I- I love you"

"Ren I –" we were interrupted by another female voice from upstairs.

"Jake I borrowed your jogging pants" the voice grinned "He is way too big"

"Ohhh" I said while I raised my eyebrows "Now I understand why suddenly we are just friends"

"Ren it's not what you think" He started but before he could say anything more I slapped him.

"Screw you" I shouted while running out.

I ran to the Cullen mansion and stormed to my room.  
>I bet she was beautiful, the girl upstairs. Mature and able to look out for herself. How could he not see that the only thing I needed was him. He was the first person that I ever loved. She better appreciate what she had. Hold him tight, look into this eyes and realize she was one lucky girl. But I was just his friend.. I cried so loud Emmett came to check on me.<p>

"What is wrong? Are you hurt?" He asked worried.

I shook my head. "I'm not hurt"

"What happened then?" he asked wrapping his arm around me.

"Nothing, could you just leave me alone for a few minutes?" I said giving him a fake smile.

"Sure" He said when he gave me a hug and left.

To make my evening even worse Edward walked in. I sighted and rolled my eyes.

"What do you want?" I bitched

"I heard you were upset" He answered while he sat down on the bed.

"Screw you" I mumbled while I tried to ignore him.

"Renesmee, please" He pleaded "Let me help"

"Help? When did you ever try to help" I said while I folded my arms.

"You are the one who put me on this world and you left me all alone"

He sighted and I could see I hurt him. But I didn't care at the moment, because it was the truth.

"I have something for you" He said as he handed me an envelope. I didn't took it and he put it on the nightstand.

"You look just like her, you just as beautiful as she was" he said when he laid his hand on my shoulder. He left me alone and I closed the door behind him. I didn't want more Cullens storming in.

Curious as I was I grabbed the envelope and stared at it. My name was on it. I opened It and slowly started to read.

'_My dearest Renesmee, _

_When you are reading this means I passed away. I do not want you to think for even a second that that is your fault. You have nothing to blame yourself for. It was my own decision to keep you and you and your father are the best things that ever happened to me. I wish I was there to see you grow up, I wonder if you look like me or more like Edward. Please be kind for my dearest Edward, will you dearest, he had a bad time. We broke all the rules having you, he had to give his all fighting for you. _

_My dear child I wish I could just hold you one more time. Tell you I love you in person. But I can't so the only thing I can do is promise you I will look over you. Always. I am proud of you my sweet Renesmee. I always will be and everyday I will love you more. _

_Love, _

_Mom_

I stormed downstairs to look for Edward. I found him in the livingroom together with the others.

"WHY, WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT FOR ME" I screamed at him.

"WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU FIGHT FOR ME' I screamed at all of them.

"Because of the pact, because the pack would've killed you. Because the volturi would've killed you. They needed it to look like you were dead. Just to give you a chance to live"

I turned around to see a pale Jacob standing in the livingroom.

"What are you doing here?" I said frowning

"I came to say goodbye" he said smiling weakly, showing me the bitemarks in his wrist.

I rushed to his side and grabbed him right before he fell down.

"What happened"

"Vampire got in the house, I got bitten while I tried to protect my sister" He said weakly. His eyes were rolling away and he slowly was losing his awareness.

"Jake? Jake stay with me" I begged

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><p><strong>Cookie for reviewers<strong>


	9. PitchBlack

He closed his eyes and his whole body was trembling.

"Jake, no stay with me" I said while I shook him. Carlisle inspected him and felt his pulse. His face was pale which was nothing like Jake. I caressed his face and looked at Carlisle with begging eyes.

"This isn't good Renesmee" He said. "The poison is already is his system. There is not much I can do before it reaches his heart."

I watched him with big eyes. "What, No!" I cried while I pulled him closer in my arms. His breathing was unsteady and I could just feel how he was slipping away.

"Don't go Jake" I whispered while tears rolled over my cheeks. "Don't leave me alone"

Everyone was staring at us, nobody knew what to do. Defeated they stared at us. I could feel a wave of comfort rushing over from Jasper, but I didn't want it.

"But I love you Jake" I mumbled in his hairs.

Suddenly I had an epiphany. Carlisle maybe couldn't do anything but I could. I could finally make myself useful, I could finally do something good in my life.. And most important of all. Maybe there was a petit chance that I was able to save him. My eyes searched for Edward's. I knew he already read my mind. He looked from me to Carlisle trying to find out what Carlisle professional opinion about this was.  
>'Don't you dare lie to me' I thought as hard as I could. When his eyes found mine I could read the answer in them. I grabbed Jacob's wrist and brought it to my lips.<p>

"Renesmee Wait! " Carlisle said "We don't know what will happen with you if you do this"

"But will it save him?" I asked while I licked my lips ready to bite in Jacob's flesh.

"But maybe you will die!" Emmett exclaimed in panic "look what happened the last time"

I took a deep breath and made my fangs sink in his flesh. I knew that in order to save him I needed to suck out the venom fast. There was no time for anything else, I needed to swallow his blood. All of it.  
>And so I did, I ignored the signs of my body that I had enough. I ignored the fact that any second I was going to throw up. I didn't know how long it took me, or even how much blood I drank but after a while Edward pulled me back.<p>

"That's enough Renesmee" He said while he petted my hairs" You stopped the venom from going to his heart, Carlisle can take it from here" I wiped my mouth and sighed feeling pretty sick already. Carlisle lifted Jacob up and walked to his office. I jumped up and the world started to spin around me. I leaned on Edward for some handhold. He helped me to Carlisle's office where I sat down on the couch. Exhausted I watched Carlisle doing his thing. He walked around with all sorts of needles and bloodbags. My head was killing me, flashes of pain tortured me. Every one worse than the one before. I rubbed my eyes because I couldn't focus on anything anymore. There was already blood dropping from my nose and left eye but stubborn as I was I kept wiping it away. Edward noticed and informed with Carlisle how Jacob was doing. When they told me he was going to make it I agreed to let them take me to bed. When I pulled the blankets up I closed my eyes and fell in a light restless sleep.

I could tell that I slept for a long time. My body was still and sore from the laying down all the time. It was pitch black in my room and I reached for my nightlight. I flipped the switch but it was broken because the darkness still surrounded me. With a lot of effort I climbed out of bed and with my hands as guide I walked to the bathroom. I grabbed on the door and flicked on the light in the bathroom. This one didn't seemed to work either. Now I slowly started to panic, fearing it weren't the lights but me who wasn't working. I tried to focus on anything, anything at all. But there was just darkness surrounding me. I start rubbing my temples trying to calm down, but in seconds fair spread through my body. The sudden realization made me scream on top of my lungs.

I was blind.

I screamed and then rolled up to a little ball. Esme was there first asking me what was wrong. Pleading me to tell her how she could help. But I was to defeated to even talk. I felt hands from everywhere touching me. I didn't knew from whom they were or where they came from and it was creeping me out.

"Stop touching me" I cried while I hugged my knees. "Just stop touching me" They didn't listened and someone lifted me up. I didn't knew where we were going but I could feel we walked down a stairs so I guessed it was Carlisle's office where they laid me down.

"Renesmee talk to me" Carlisle said while his cold hands investigated my body trying to find what caused me this much trouble. I couldn't tell him, my voice was broken in defeat. I just wanted to wake up from this really bad dream. I felt like a prisoner in my own body.

"Renesmee sweety, Tell us what is wrong" Esme's sweet voice whispered to me. It was freaking me out, I couldn't place her in this room. All this people with their touching and talking were creeping me out. I couldn't see. I fucking couldn't see. How was I ever able to lead a normal life now.

"Emmett get Edward" I heard Alice say. I didn't say a word until he came. I just hugged my knees and kept sobbing. Trying to protect myself from this big bad world.

"Oh no" I heard him whispered when he read in my mind what was wrong. I started to cry even louder as he explained it to Carlisle. There was a silence which lasted for a few minutes. I heard how people retreated and left the room. The only voices I still could hear were Carlisle's and Edward's. Carlisle's cool hands softly took my face in his hands. I opened my eyes knowing he was looking at me and doing stuff. When he was done I closed them again in defeat. Someone sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around me. I cried against his shoulder until my body was too painful and sore to produce more tears.

"Renesmee" Carlisle said from somewhere far. "Your eyesight is completely gone. I think it is an side effect of the werewolf blood. But what I don't know is how long it is going to take to recover. If you ever will" The words were harsh but there were the truth. I nodded in defeat. I was my own choice, I choose to save Jacob and it cost me my eyesight. Those were the consequences I had to live with. I buried my face in Edward's shoulder, I now knew it was Edward sitting next to me knowing Carlisle was far away.

"Jacob?" I asked quietly. They assured me he was going to be fine. He was still sleeping. They brought him to his own home and made the pack look after him. When there was just the slightest bit of trouble they would call. I nodded and asked Edward if he could bring me to my room, because I wanted some time to let this sink in. His cool hand took mine and laid it on his arm. He helped me up and lead me through the house, really slowly. The stairs was pure hell but I refused to ask any more help. It took us almost ten minutes to get upstairs. When I finally touched the fabric of my sheets and sat down on my bed I sighted in relief. He lingered in the room for a few more seconds, trying to find out if he could help me in any other way. But I mentally assured him that there was nothing he could do.

"Are you going to be fine?" He asked worried. Honestly I shook my head "No"  
>And I wasn't, my life was completely over. I finally reached adulthood not needing anyone, and now I was blind.<p>

"If you need something, just call out my name" He said and I heard him close the door. I sat there for hours, not knowing what to do. In the afternoon Alice came and made me a hot bath. She helped me undress which I hated and led me into the bathtub. The water was nice and warm and the bath oil she put in it were quite relaxing. When I was settled she left me alone, usually I read a book in bath but I couldn't do that now. Maybe this was just temporally I thought, trying to stay positive. But I couldn't keep up doing that for long. I needed to learn the whole braille alphabet again. I just like a kid again. After two hours the water was cold and I was still trying to collect courage to get out. I sighted and just forced myself to stand up. I stepped out of the bathtub reaching for something I recognized but when I reached to much forward I slipped and fell face first on the floor. I got to my hands and knees and was able to find the towel Alice left me. I wrapped it around my body and crawled into a corner. I couldn't do this, I really really couldn't do this. I was used to seeing and now I lived in a world of darkness. I couldn't do anything alone anymore. I couldn't live like that. I didn't want to live like that. I didn't wanted to live anymore like this.

"Renesmee" I heard how someone opened the door and walked in. It was still a reflex to look up, but it was useless because I couldn't see a thing.

"Oh honey" I heard Alice say. Her small hands pulled me up and led me to the sleepingroom.

"Do you want me to help you get dressed?" She asked sweetly. I shook my head.

"No I want to be left alone" I mumbled while I crawled under the blankets and closed my eyes. I laid there for hours. I didn't know how long exactly and I didn't care anymore. They brought me food and blood trying to make me eat but I wasn't hungry. I slept some more and when I woke up I decided that it was time to put on some clothes, I was still wrapped up in my towel. Lucky for me my underwear was in the drawer next to my bed so that was easy. In my underwear I explored my room. But a few, o that wasn't true, with a lot of bumping against, well everything, I finally found my dresser. With a lot of effort I got myself in sweatpants. I heard my door and irritated I sighted. I asked them to knock and announce themselves before coming in.

"What do you want?" I hissed

"Well thanking you for saving my life for starters" I heard his voice. I dropped all the t-shirts I was holding in my hands on the floor.

"Jacob" I whispered frozen. I heard his footsteps coming closer.

"I won't look" He said "Until you are properly dressed"

I just dropped all the t-shirts on the floor and I wasn't going to let him see how hopeless he was. God I hoped I has a nice bra on. I stood there frozen, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe nobody told him yet, but knowing Jacob he probably just busted in and ran to my room. I swallowed fighting the lump in my throat.

"Are you done?" he asked and I was even too afraid to answer. Again footsteps he was coming closer.

"Ren, I'm so sorry for everything" he said. He was somewhere left from me, but I didn't knew where exactly.

"You Renesmee Carly Cullen are a lifesaver and my guardian angel"

I still didn't reply to any of it.

"Ren you can at least look at me when I'm talking" He said a little agitated.

"I can't" I mumbled

"She is my sister" He said while I felt his hand on my shoulder. "I would never replace you like that"

"That's not it Jake" I whispered while my eyes were tearing up "I can't see anymore"

* * *

><p><strong>Hi guys, I would really like to know what you think 'bout this chapter. You would make me really happy if you just took a few seconds to review. <strong>


	10. The Worst Day

There were three options. One. He was not able to cope with his anger and this shock that he would leave as quick as he walked in. He would storm out and leave me alone. And who would blame him? Two he could stay and help me pick out a shirt and comfort me the best he could. Three. He could apologize for this situation and quietly back out.

"I can't see anymore" I mumbled again. I couldn't' see his face or his reaction at all. The only thing I could do was guess. I just stood there surrounded by darkness, hearing his footsteps as he stormed out of the room. I heard him walk down the stairs. I closed my eyes and sighed deep. He left. It had been option one. I wiped the tears from my eyes and sat down on the ground still in my bra. I didn't care anymore to be honest. I found it hard to find something to live for at the moment. This was the worst thing that happened to me. I sniffed and hugged my knees. Worst. Day. Ever. I was seriously considering jumping out of the window when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. It would probably be one of the Cullens, checking up on me like always. I couldn't blame them at all, because I was hopeless, helpless whatever.

Someone walked into the room quietly, but I couldn't find the energy to look up. It didn't matter anyway because I couldn't see. With my eyesight gone I needed to rely on my other senses, somehow my body was automatically adjusting. I smelled motoroil and wood.

"I wanted to wait with giving it, but I'm guessing you need it now.." He said

"Jake" I cheered in disbelief, my eyes tearing up.

He sat down next to me, I felt the heat radiating from his skin. His big warm hand pried open mine and softly placed something in them. It was bigger than my hand, the surface smooth and a little cold.

"What is it" I asked letting my hand ran over it.

"It's chocolate, with hazelnuts. Your favorite" he whispered.

I tried to smile. But tears welled up and instead I started crying. He wrapped his arm around me and I forced myself on his lap. I laid my head on his shoulder and wept.

"I'm blind Jake" I stuttered.

"I know Sweety" He whispered in my hairs. "But you're going to be alright"

"No that's it. I'm not going to be alright. I don't know how to do this" I exclaimed.

"Well we just have to figure this out then" he said while he wiped away my tears.

"But.."

"We'll do it together" he whispered while he wrapped me up in his big strong arms. I inhaled his scent and enjoyed the heat he was radiating. Actually he was radiating too much heat.

"Jake you are so hot" I said. How selfish of me that I only thought about me. I never even asked him how he was doing.

"Are you okay?" I asked worried.

"Yeah I'll be fine. I'm just a little feverish that's all" he said and I heard him grin. Treating it like it was nothing important. S

We sat there in silence for a while. I didn't know what I was supposed to say.

"Hey Ren" he said while he softly rubbed my arm "You need to eat and drink something, The doc said you haven't since you woke up"

I shrugged my shoulders "I'm not really hungry" I said nonchalant. I lied, I could feel my body getting weaker by the hour. But there was such a big lump in my throat that I couldn't swallow a single bite.

"Ren…" He said. Without warning me he stood up, lifting me up when he did so. I slightly panicked and wrapped my arms around his neck so tight he almost suffocated.

"You can let go now" He said when he laid me down. He cleared his throat a few times when I let him go. I felt that it was my bed and I crawled under the blankets. My body was already tired and my throat was aching. I wasn't healing as quick as last time and that troubled me. I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"I will let you sleep when you eat something" Jacob said. He was somewhere beside me, but I didn't knew he was sitting or standing. This being blind was really mindfucking me.

"Why would I?" I grunted "it's not like it will make me better. Why not let me rot in peace"

"Ren. Please. Do it for me" he begged. I shrugged my shoulders again. I didn't really feel like it.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way" He stated with some played irritation.

A little smile played my face. "Fine. What's in it for me?" I asked waiting in the darkness.

There was a short silence. "What do you want?"

"Stay. The silence is killing me here, there is not a single sound" I explained. These vampires were so silent I never heard them until they spoke. I felt like a was all alone at this darn house, which still felt so unfamiliar.

"And.. I'm so scared" I whispered in a tiny voice "I'm so afraid of the dark".

He slipped under the blankets. I could feel his warm skin press against mine and when I focused I could hear the sound of his heartbeat. I sighted of relief, for the first time I didn't feel alone in this darkness. His warmth, steady heartbeat and smell caused me to fall asleep quickly.

I woke up from his snoring. But it woke me up with a smile and I really enjoyed listening to it until it I fell asleep again. I felt safe and embraced.

When I woke up again I was laying on his arms. He wasn't snoring so I assumed he was awake. I could feel how he carefully played with my hair.

"Goodmorning sleeping beauty" he grinned. I stretched and snuggled up to him.

"That's not fair, I can't even look at myself. Do I have out of bed hair?" I mumbled while enjoying this moment to the maximum. If I didn't open my eyes it seemed just like old times.

"Well you look gorgeous" he stated. I softly 'Mmmhed'

"I wish I could say the same. But I can't see…" I replied.

He tickled me "But Ness, you know I always look handsome"

I giggled and he laughed. It felt so safe, it felt like home. After a few minutes Jacob stood up and grabbed me. He threw me over his shoulder and put me down. He pushed something in my hands.  
>It was small and thin, and my puzzled mind told me it was my toothbrush. I brushed my teeth, glad there was still something I could do to myself. When we were done Jacob grabbed my hand and guided me back to the bed.<p>

"So what do you want?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows and gestured I didn't know what he wanted from me.

"Bacon and eggs, pancakes, cornflakes, bread, A positive, B negative"

As he summarized which choices there were for breakfast I felt nausea.

"Jake please stop" I begged trying to suppress the need to vomit at the spot.

"No Ness you promised me you would eat something" He replied irritated "And if you won't I feel feed you as much bacon and eggs as you can eat"

That did it, the thought about eggs sliding through my throat made my stomach too upset. I tried to hold it back, pressed my hand in front of my mouth but I couldn't help it. I vomited on the floor.

Within seconds he moved me from my room to downstairs, probably Carlisle's office. I felt cool hands checking up on me and I tried to best to stay conscience.

"Renesmee, can you hear me" Carlisle asked me. I slowly nodded. After a while I heard him tell the others that this was still the werewolf blood in my system.

"But she threw up blood" Jacob said "And yesterday she cried blood" Alice said.

I did? Whoa I was even more fucked up than I realized. I heard them talk, just as they forget I could still hear everything. Or maybe ever hear better. They were discussing my healing process and that if I didn't eat something I wouldn't make it. But maybe I didn't want to make it.. maybe I just wanted to be swallowed by the darkness and rest in peace.

* * *

><p>What will happen with Rensmee? Will Jake convince her that he is worth living for? Or will he continue with the friendzone? Will she ever see again? Review to let me know what you think.<p> 


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